


I Got a Bad Desire

by kaybohls



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Theatre, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bed & Breakfast, Broadway, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Dressing Room Sex, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Happy Ending, I'm Bad At Summaries, Idiots in Love, Just Sex, Light Angst, Made For Each Other, Non-Graphic Smut, Paparazzi, Reylo - Freeform, Show Business, Smut, The Great Gatsby References, Theatre, just bang already, tony awards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-08-20 19:30:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20233186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaybohls/pseuds/kaybohls
Summary: Tony Award-nominated director, Ben Solo, is set to direct to the next hottest show in town,GATSBY!When producers Canady and Holdo cast his former classmate and fellow Julliard alumni as his leading lady -tensions rise. Can Ben let the past die so his show can thrive? Perhaps there's more to this "Hollywood Sellout" than meets the eye.





	1. Let Me Be Your Star

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Semperfidani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semperfidani/gifts).

> For Semperfidani - I hope you love it!
> 
> All of your prompts were amazing, but my brain lit up like a Christmas tree as soon as I saw I'm on Fire by Bruce Springsteen on your list. ...you could say it gave me a bad desire to write this fic.
> 
> _hides in a corner_
> 
> Thank you to -insert names here- for my beta and mood board.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48529291497/in/dateposted/)

Ben Solo sat with his broad shoulders hunched over the bar, slowly swirling the amber liquid in his glass in slow circles as he stared blankly at the wall. Taking a deep sip of the expensive whiskey, he let it sit in his mouth for a moment, working his jaw back and forth as he swallowed.

His mood had been sour all day ever since his assistant, Mitaka, called him and told him that Canady and Holdo had insisted on setting up this infernal dinner. 

Curling his long fingers beneath the creased copy of The New York Times, he lifted the worn paper from the mahogany bar top and opened it to the Arts section. His eyes went directly to his signature scowl, printed in faded black and white with big letters emblazoned over his head.

_Ben Solo to Helm New Musical: GATSBY! at Gershwin_

With a sniff and a sigh, Ben folded the paper back up and let it fall with a plop onto the bar. He wasn’t sure how it happened, and it certainly wasn’t part of the grand master plan he’d had back in theater school. Ben had always dreamed of honing his craft and gracing the most magnificent stages on The Great White Way. Now, he was on the other side of the curtain, pulling strings and weaving together a splendid tapestry of sights and sounds for a brand new audience night after night. 

Ben had a talent he didn’t expect at directing, and a vision that now, after years at the helm of several productions and a handful of Tony nominations, producers clambered to get a taste of for their shows. Now, all of Broadway was finally figuring out that he could turn bullshit into gold. 

When the legendary producing duo, Canady and Holdo, approached him for this project, Ben had been intrigued. He had always been a fan of Fitzgerald, and thought that he might be able to bring something fresh to the table…until he found out that the producers planned to not involve him in the casting choice for the leading lady, Daisy Buchanan. 

So here he was, sitting and waiting at a pretentious, upscale restaurant that the producers had picked, to try and make an excellent first impression on whatever starlet they’d cast to rake in the ticket sales. 

Ben didn’t know who she was...what she’d been in...or if she was any good or not. He didn’t give a shit. 

There was something special about the stage. The unpredictability of it required a particular caliber of actor…not everyone would cut it, especially not someone with zero experience in live theater. This Hollywood princess would be eaten alive at the first flubbed line without the luxury of a second take. 

And yet, Holdo and Canady had been insistent on her. 

“Excuse me, sir. The rest of your party has arrived.”

Ben looked up from the empty glass in his hand at the waiter, who stood a good five feet away for his safety, eliciting a gruff chuckle from deep in his chest that made the poor schmuck flinch. It looked like his reputation had made it further Uptown than he had anticipated. 

“It’s about goddamn time. Get me another Macallan in the meantime.”

He pressed his palms against the smooth wood and swung his long legs out from beneath the bar, buttoning his navy suit jacket as he peered around the dining room.

The dining room was packed for a Tuesday evening. The guests at each white-tablecloth covered table were dressed in high-end suits and their best dress. Delicious smells wafted through the dimly lit dining room, mingling with the sounds of the multitudes of conversations happening all at once. The clinks and clanks of the dishes added to the odd sort of melody of the vibe in the restaurant as the patrons all enjoyed their overpriced food. 

As his dark eyes moved from table to table, he finally found the couple he was looking for. An odd couple, if there ever was one...Amilyn Holdo and Moden Canady were the textbook version. You wouldn’t be able to tell at first glance that the pair of them had been like Fred and Ginger back in their day, headlining show after show on Broadway for at least a decade, raking in the Tony’s year after year.

Tall and waif-like, Holdo looked like she might blow away in a stray breeze the next time the front door swung open. She was dressed in a sleek, grey pantsuit with the jacket hanging loosely over her lavender, silk shirt. Her blonde hair was cropped just below her chin in a sleek bob. Her entire ensemble probably cost more than his rent, but Ben supposed that was what happened after a lifetime with your name in lights. 

Canady looked more like a prior military man than a theater legend. With a permanent scowl, not unlike Ben’s, etched into the lines on his face, Moden was not someone to be trifled with compared to the calm, kind smile of his counterpart. 

Ben cleared his throat and strode between the tables in the dining room, reaching out to shake Canady’s hand with a curt nod at the pair of them. 

“Thank you for meeting us, Ben,” Amilyn smiled as they all settled into their seats.

“Not like you gave me any choice, did you?” he barked, nearly startling the waiter that had followed behind him with a fresh pour of whiskey.

“Listen, Solo…” Canady warned, leaning forward over the candlelit table, “We’d be happy to have another director, but we chose you.”

“The fuck you’d be happy to have another director. You know damn well that you wouldn’t get this show anywhere close to Broadway. You’d be playing the community center in Queens without me.”

“You _are_ staying on board, aren’t you?” Holdo pressed as she elbowed her partner in the ribs, sending a silent order to shut up across the line. 

Ben leaned back in his chair and took a steady drink of his Macallan, savoring the taste as he mulled over his words, enjoying every second of seeing them squirm.

“I haven’t decided yet. We’ll see how things go with this Hollywood princess you’ve brought in,” he sniffed, lifting his chin with a cocky smile as he glanced around the dining room. “Where is your chosen one? How considerate of her to be so punctual for our dinner. You better hope you don’t have a Marilyn on your hands.”

“She’s going to offer something special to the role of Daisy, I know it,” Holdo continued, nervously sipping at her gin and tonic.

“I don’t need something special. Special isn’t for the theater. Special doesn’t reach the top row on its best day. I need _spectacular. Stunning. Unforgettable._ The right star has that and more. They spark an obsession. I want someone who will stick with me. Make me burn with a bad desire - the way Gatsby does for Daisy. Make me want to go off to war and change my name. Does your leading lady possess all that?”

“We like to think so,” Amilyn quipped, her face stony as she and Ben sat in a silent stand-off.

“We’ll see,” Ben sniffed with a confident sneer.

“Why don’t you decide for yourself?” Canady grinned over Ben’s shoulder, pushing his chair back from the table to rise and offer a hand out to whoever was approaching from behind him.

He swiveled his head around to look at who his producer was looking at, and instantly felt his mouth go dry. The pure radiance of her smile hit him square in the chest as she warmly accepted Moden’s hand with both of hers, enthusiastically shaking them as she bent down to press a swift kiss on each of his cheeks.

She was a stunning creature to behold, dressed from stem to stern in a stylish jumpsuit. The pure-white fabric was tailored perfectly to her shoulders, with elegant draping that fell past her fingertips. A deep V allowed a delectable glimpse of her positively luminous, bronzed skin, and the dusting of freckles that speckled the flesh between her breasts. She was taller than he had expected...completely statuesque with the tapered legs of her clothing and her delicate, beige stiletto sandals. 

Ben rose to his feet as the din of the dining room around him moved almost in slow motion, and he kept his dark eyes glued to her as she enthusiastically greeted Amilyn with a hug and a fond kiss. The time shifted around them, her hazel eyes unhurriedly blinking as she turned her gaze to meet his.

As the world around them caught up in an abrupt blur, a vague sense of familiarity washed over Ben like a cold blanket as their eyes finally met and her hand slid into his. 

Her smile was unfaltering, revealing a set of dimples from within her freckle-kissed cheeks as she looked back at him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“So nice to finally meet you, Ben,” she beamed.

“You’re late.”

She laughed him off as her hand lingered in his, giving a small shrug of her well-tailored shoulders.

“You know, as a girl who grew up in London, lives in L.A. and used to live in New York, you think I’d be used to the traffic, but it’s always so much worse than I remember!” Her smile shifted ever so slightly as she silently regarded him...like she was flipping through her mental catalog of why they seemed so familiar to each other, “I’m Rey Jackson.”

“I know,” Ben mused, returning her gentle squeeze of his hand with a firmer one of his own. Hers was friendly. His, decidedly, was less so, “We’ve met before.”

“You’ve met?” Amilyn piped up, a hint of excited anticipation in her voice, “That’s fantastic news!”

“I’m not so sure it is, pet,” Canady grumbled as he sat down in the chair beside Ben.

Rey’s smile faded away into a silent _oh_ of surprise as she freed herself from her director’s grip.

“Ben Solo,” she breathed, “Julliard...right?”

“Oh-five.”

“Ah.”

Holdo and Canady stared at them in amazement as the party all settled into their seats at the table, the dumbfounded looks on their faces softly lit by the flickering candle at the center of the white tablecloth. The producers filled the tense silence between Ben and Rey with lighthearted small talk about how she was enjoying being back in New York, and if her accommodations were to her liking - and all sorts of other bullshit to keep their starlet happy.

The waiter, dressed smartly in a black waistcoat and bow tie, strode over as they glanced over the menu, listing off the chef’s specials for that evening. Ben closed the hardcover menu shut with a snap and smiled cooly at the supposedly talented Hollywood actress across the table from him.

“You paying, Sweetheart? I’ll get the wagyu beef steak... I’m sure you’re good for it, right?”

“Solo!” Canady snapped, “Would you…”

“Come on, Jackson, I’m sure being a sellout has worked wonders for your wallet. More than what the theatre will earn you, I’m sure...how many superhero movies are you up to now?”

“Ben!” Holdo pressed, her cheeks flooded with a deep shade of pink as she leaned over to Rey, “I am so sorry, Ms. Jackson. He is better than this, I swear.”

“Better than Captain Starlight, here, I’m sure.”

Rey sat, completely unaffected across from him, gazing back at him unblinkingly as she slowly circled a finger over the rim of her water glass. Her face remained impassive with the hint of a ghost of a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth, like she was daring him to say another word. Blinking slowly, her megawatt smile spread out as she turned her attention to the waiter, who was patiently waiting for their order. She slowly closed her menu and lifted it to his hands. 

“I’ll have the New York strip, medium rare, thanks.” She brought her eyes back to Ben in a flash and leaned forward on her elbows with a spark in her eyes, “Oh, so you know my work?”

“I don’t know if I’d call it that. Not that I’ve seen it.”

“Of course not. You’re an _intellectual_, why on earth would you ever go to the cinema?”

“Not for a movie made by a major studio, no.”

“Why’s that?”

“I have respect for the craft...unlike some people. Sellouts like you.”

Rey cocked her head to the side in mock amusement, the shadow of her smile not quite reaching her eyes.

“So, attending a prestigious performing arts school, taking all the singing, dancing and acting classes and using them to great success is what you consider being a sellout?”

“Money doesn’t necessarily mean you’re successful. When have you done any choreography in all your hero and sci-fi movies?”

“I’d be happy to prove it to you with a sword...or my hands. Dealer’s choice.”

He swallowed the growing lump in his throat as he imagined the woman who had shown so much prowess and strength on screen battling aliens and faceless, armored villains with a laser sword, using her body to throw him down onto the ground. It set his chest ablaze with…_something_. Keeping his demeanor relaxed and casual, he mashed his mouth together for a moment as he thought of a reply that wouldn’t give away the fact that, yes...he had indeed paid for an overpriced movie ticket to watch his old crush up close and in high definition.

“I’d like to see you try. It’s all probably just CGI, anyways.”

Rey scoffed as her shoulders bounced with the delectable sound, and Ben couldn’t help but notice the edge of her pink tongue skirt across the seam of her mouth.

“Big dancer, are you?”

“I choreograph all of my shows myself... you’d be surprised what I could do with my body.”

Ben smiled smugly to himself when he saw roses bloom beneath the freckles on her face, happy to know that maybe now she’d noticed him. 

_Too little, too late, Sweetheart._

Rey curled her slender fingers around the perspiration coated glass in front of her, raising it to her lips to take a long drink as she averted her eyes from his burning gaze. Ben didn’t know what spurred him to continue on, but at this point, their verbal sparring match felt like it had almost become a game of sorts, and he was just the asshole who would push it to see just how far he could get before he would strike the winning blow.

“Okay, Cupcake...so you say you can dance, but I seem to remember your singing being less than subpar. Do you really think you could cut it as the star in a major musical as your Broadway debut? You may want a safer role...I could find you a spot in the ensemble if you’d like. At least then I would have a choice in the part you’d get to play.”

Rey sat back in her chair as a determined, yet frustrated smile broke out across her delicate features as she chewed on her bottom lip.

“You want to know if I can sing? _Fine_.”

Their entire party watched, completely stunned, as Rey took a deep breath and flawlessly belted out the end of _Somewhere Over the Rainbow_. Her voice was smooth and clear...quiet at the start, but grew with such a power that he never knew she had, and soothing in a way he couldn’t explain. When she finished, the entire dining room erupted into a round of thunderous applause. 

Rey was radiant as she bashfully looked around at the other patrons, laughing out loud when she saw the proud smile on Amilyn’s face, and the way Moden’s chest was puffed out like a proud father. As the noise lowered back down to the steady din it was before, Rey’s hazel eyes shifted back to Ben’s with a silent challenge tucked behind the greens and golds. 

He held her gaze, determined not to be the first to look away. Desperate to keep any ounce of pure dazzlement he was feeling from reaching any inch of his face, Ben let his signature scowl remain as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You practice that in the mirror?”

“Every night,” Rey smirked.

“That’s something I’d like to see…” Ben growled as he leaned forward over the candle on the table. He couldn’t help but notice Rey’s sharp intake of breath when his fingers barely brushed against hers, and he smugly wished he could elicit all sorts of sounds from those lips. Wrapped up in the flecks of molten gold tucked amongst the green and brown in her eyes, the rest of the world melted away for an instant before Ben opened his idiot mouth again, “Still, it doesn’t prove anything to me about if you can cut it on stage or not. There’s no extra takes in the theater, Sweetheart. No closed sets. No resetting to do it again. No second chances. Just you and them...Can you handle being bare for all to see?”

Rey still seemed utterly unmoved. If anything, she seemed amused by the whole verbal struggle and where it had led. Ben glanced to her side and briefly met the darkened blue eyes of Holdo who mouthed a silent warning, “stop” at him, but he couldn’t help but play the game with such an exceptional opponent.

“I can’t help but wonder, Mister Solo…_could you?_ Could you handle it? You’ve proven yourself a...competent…director,” Rey mused as she lazily trailed her middle finger around the edge of her martini glass, “I seem to remember you studying acting back at Julliard. What happened? You couldn’t cut it out front of the curtain?”

“I chose to take on directing,” Ben shrugged her off casually, but his heart told a different story. He tried to keep his face impassive, and silently begged the twitch of his jaw to settle before she noticed anything.

Rey tilted her head to the side as a coquettish smile bloomed slowly across her freckled face.

“No. That’s not it. You were afraid. Terrified that you’d never be able to live up to her. Am I right?” She lifted her glass and took a slow sip of her martini, “You know...for someone with such large feet, you were never able to fill her shoes, were you?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, _Ben_...everyone knows. Meanwhile, you sit here and insult me when you ought to be looking at yourself.”

He silently fumed as he pressed his lips together to try and keep the simmering fury from bubbling over. Somehow...she found his exact source of insecurity...something he’d thought he’d escaped from...and tapped directly into it. 

“I’m not insulting you,” Ben nonchalantly informed her, “I’m describing you.”

He really shouldn’t have been surprised when the glassful of gin and vermouth coated his face as Rey tossed the contents of her glass directly at him. Any hint of mild amusement that had been on her face had evaporated entirely, leaving only the sheen of bitter tears pooling on the edges of her lashes. 

For a moment, a shred of guilt began to tug at him, but Ben stubbornly refused to follow that path. He had started this and, at least for now, he had to pretend that he was this person that his ego had demanded him to be. He wasn’t wrong that it took an exceptional caliber of an actor to thrive in front of a live audience, and while he had known her in the past, he still wasn’t convinced that she would be able to prevail in the way that his show required. 

It wasn’t his fault that her feelings had been caught in the crossfire of their verbal shootout…was it?

“Apologize. _NOW_,” Canady warned as he glared daggers from beside him. 

He reached up to smear the remnants of her drink from his face, taking a moment to leisurely suck the drops of gin from his thumb as everyone else in their party watched him.

“Mmm, Tanqueray? I pegged you as more of a Beefeater...it’s a little too dry for me.”

“Ben…” Amilyn pressed, her blue eyes shifting from Rey to him and back again as their starlet sat in silent indignation.

“For telling the truth and asking the tough questions I would of any of my actors? _No_. If she’s going to be in my production, she’ll need to buck up - or she’ll never make it in on Broadway.”

Rey let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob, whispering an _I’m sorry_ as she abruptly pushed her chair back from the table and darted out the door. 

Amilyn quickly rose to her feet and darted out after her, murmuring something about always having to clean up Ben’s messes. Ben shrugged and lifted his whiskey glass to his plush lips, taking a long drink while Canady stared daggers at him.

“What in the hell do you think you’re playing at?”

Ben shrugged, looking out at the restaurant with a sneer.

“I’m not playing at anything. I’m doing you...and her a favor. Since you didn’t allow me the _luxury_ of being able to properly audition her the way I would have with _anyone_ else...it was only fair that she gets tested in some way…”

“Did it have to be in the middle of the restaurant? Why not wait until the first rehearsal to judge if she’s worth her salt or not?”

A deep laugh rumbled around in Ben’s chest as he lifted his dark eyebrows in mock surprise at one-half of the producing team.

“_Worth her salt?_ This will be a whole new world to her...no trailer to run and hide in. No resetting the shot. I _knew_ her before, buddy. I know she isn’t.”

Canady stretched his arms out over the table and took a slow, deep breath as he stared at the flickering candle at the center of the white tablecloth.

“She’s a little green, I’ll admit it.”

“_A little?_” Ben scoffed.

“Fine. She’s green...but the buds are there. She just...needs a teacher...I’m sure, under your tutelage, she’d blossom into the most stunning rose.”

“I think you mean a Daisy,” Ben retorted as he mulled over his words. She was as stubborn as they came...was she even moldable? He couldn’t wait to see what kind of habits she’d had on a film set and figure out a way to break them...break them and mold her into something new...something sensational.

If he thought about it, Ben figured that the potential was probably there. Rey was the teacher’s pet...acing class after class with what seemed like little effort. He would reluctantly admit that, sure, a fair amount of choreography went into stunt work...but would she be able to _dance_? He had so many questions that still needed answering, and now that they’d pretty much blown it on their first meeting, he’d have to figure out a way to undo any damage that they’d done.

He sat back in his seat and drained the rest of his glass, catching the eye of the bartender across the dining room with a tap of his finger on the side of the crystal highball before turning his attention back to Canady. 

“She needs a teacher, huh?” Ben carded his fingers through his dark hair and thoughtfully scrubbed the stubble on his jaw, “I’ll... I’ll give it a shot...but I’m auditioning an understudy.”

Canady clapped his hands together with a hint of a smile in his blue eyes.

“Great. We, Amilyn and I, we just have a _great_ feeling about her.”

“And the tickets you’ll sell with Captain Starlight on the marquee?”

“...and the light she’ll bring to the role. We have no doubts that she’ll be _just_ what you need, and more. Just...play nice. _Teach her_...if you find that she needs teaching at all.”

Ben looked up as Holdo stormed back into the restaurant, sans Rey, and plopped back into her seat with a flustered look on her long face. She gave him a telling look, pursing her lips to silence him as she lifted her gin and tonic to her lips and polished off what remained of her drink. 

She slammed it down on the table with a deep breath and lifted a perfectly manicured finger to point directly at Ben’s lopsided grin.

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told…”

“I swear, Bennett...if I didn’t…” she sniffed, pursing her lips together and narrowing her eyes as Ben’s smile only grew, “Do _not_ give me that look like you are still an eight-year-old boy!”

Ben threw his broad palms up in mock surrender, letting his smile melt away as Holdo reached up to smooth down any stray flyaways of her blonde hair.

“I talked her down... she’s still on board…_reluctantly_. She’s worried about what the rehearsal environment will be like, and rightfully so. You’re going to need to be on your best behavior.”

“Who, me?” Ben contested, his face bending into a look of disappointment, “I’m hurt, Amy...I am _always_ on my best behavior.”

“Like hell you are.”

“Fine, fine. I will _behave myself_ for Captain Starlight.”

“Rey Jackson.”

“Right. Rey. I’ll teach her and...whatever it is you want me to do...but…”

“But?” Holdo and Canady inquired simultaneously.

Ben leaned forward on the white tablecloth, his face playfully serious with his dark eyes narrowed, “I give her a week before she goes running back to California.”


	2. Chemistry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A normal girl would have walked out of the restaurant and never looked back, but Rey had this feeling…something in her gut told her that there would be something special about this show...that being in this production would change her life in ways she didn’t understand...ways that would affect her in ways far beyond what a comic book franchise had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Semperfidani - I hope you love this as much as I do <3

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48529291497/in/dateposted/)

Rey Jackson sat back in the plush leather seat of the Cadillac her assistant, Kaydel, had lined up for her, silently willing for the digital clock on the dashboard to go just a little slower. She looked out the darkened, passenger seat window up to the towering wall of windows that belonged to the 42nd Street Studios where a room full of producers, other actors, musicians….and _him_...were waiting for her.

She’d done what she could to prepare. Studied the book and went over and over the songs with her voice coach. She’d felt prepared to begin this new adventure and had been thrilled to begin...until the dinner with the director had gone a little differently than she had expected. 

It wasn’t a secret that some men in the business...too many, in Rey’s opinion...had a massive chip on their shoulder. Ben Solo had a mountain. 

True, his shoulders were broad enough and certainly seemed strong enough to carry the load...and yes, his track record for churning out hit after hit was solid and not complete bullshit...his arrogance was almost too much to stand.

Rey had walked into the restaurant, fully expecting some amount of pushback from their director, seeing as she was cast without his knowledge and consent. She knew that if she had been in his shoes...she probably would have been pissed too.

Her eyes flickered back up towards the sixth floor, where the rehearsal studio for _GATSBY!_ and the rest of the cast waited for her, thinking of how she was going to face him, seeing as the last time they laid eyes on each other, she’d thrown a dry gin martini in his face. 

The man had been a self-righteous wanker and deserved every drop after the shit he’d given her that she earned none of...considering that she wasn’t the one who had cast herself in the part in the first place.

A normal girl would have walked out of the restaurant and never looked back, but Rey had this feeling…something in her gut told her that there would be something special about this show...that being in this production would change her life in ways she didn’t understand...ways that would affect her in ways far beyond what a comic book franchise had. 

Some days, Rey wondered if the success she found in Hollywood as a film star was worth the cost she paid with her personal life. She was lonelier than she’d ever been in her life, with only a team of individuals at her beck and call and a fleet of paparazzi who followed her wherever she went. 

Some men tried to stick around for a little while, but most of them quickly grew tired of all the cameras once the novelty of the parties and red carpets had long worn off. At the moment, the longest relationship Rey had been in was the fictitious one that the tabloids had made up between her and a previous costar, all because they’d gone out to lunch from time to time. Since when could she not visit with a friend without the entire press corps spinning a story that she was having a torrid affair with a son of Odin?

There they were, her constant companions, waiting just outside the door of the black SUV she was safely tucked inside of. All of them were starving for just a glimpse of the star of what was sure to be a sensational smash...if only she could just get inside…

Rey pulled her headphones over her heads and pushed a dark pair of sunglasses up her nose as she pulled the strap of her duffle over her shoulder. Lifting her hand to the blacked-out glass, she knocked three times against it with her knuckle and sucked in a deep breath as her driver pulled open the door.

She lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the onslaught of the blinding flashes that were so bright, not even the darkest shade of sunglasses could block out. Rey pressed forward with the help of her bodyguard, Antoine, and the protective arm he kept around her, pushing through the crowd of cameras until she finally burst into the quiet of the lobby.

Her eyes darted up when she heard the bright ding of the elevator that sent her bolting for the brushed steel doors before they slid closed. Closing her eyes to take a deep, settling breath as the elevator began to move, Rey tried to lose herself to the music to her headphones. She slowly bobbed her head to the butter-smooth voice of Amy Winehouse when an unexpected tap on her shoulder yanked her from her momentary, peaceful bubble.

Yanking her headphones from her ears with a jolt, Rey looked down at the tapper in question. A young woman who appeared to be about her age with dark, almond-shaped eyes looked up at her with an awkward smile,

“Oh gosh, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you...are you...are you Captain Starlight?”

“Only in the movies,” Rey smiled politely as she adjusted the duffle on her shoulder.

“Wow…” the girl breathed, her eyes growing wider by the second as the elevator slowly rose as she blinked at her for a few seconds before coming to her senses, “I’m so sorry...I spend all my time dancing in the back, doing talking with movie stars isn’t my forte.”

“It’s more than okay. I’m just a girl on her first day of work, just like everyone else. I’m Rey,” she stuck out her hand that the girl gaped at with a look of pure reverence before bringing her own hand out to meet hers with a stunned look on her face,

“_Wow. THE_ Rey Jackson. No one back home is going to believe this. I am going to be in a show with a real star! Oh my goodness, listen to me...I am so star struck, how unprofessional of me! I’m Rose Tico...I’m your Jordan Baker!”

“I mean...I’m the rookie here, I’m the one who should be starstruck! It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rose. I really look forward to working with you,” Rey grinned, happy to have had the chance to break the ice a tad, just in time for the lift to come to a stop.

The momentary peace Rey had evaporated immediately, and she suddenly found herself more nervous than she’d ever been for any job...ever. 

She knew she was prepared. She knew she could do it...but for some reason, the thought of him and his disdain for her casting planted the tiniest seed of doubt that had blossomed overnight. 

Somehow, through the thick of their verbal sparring match, Rey wanted to desperately prove him wrong...and was overwhelmed with the need to not let him down. 

“I’ll head in super fast before you...the producers would love it if you made an entrance since you’re the star and all that…” Rose grinned at her and disappeared out the doors and down the hallway to the rehearsal studio, but little did she know...Rey wasn’t too keen on making her arrival too much a big deal.

The sound of her black dance shoes clacking against the floor echoed down the long stretch of hallway that was lined from stem to stern with groups of folding chairs. The sound of the piano and a happy chorus of voices filtered in from the studio next door, making for her journey down the corridor like a strange little melody that matched effortlessly with the thumping of her heart. 

Stepping up to the light-wooden doorway, Rey rested her palm against the door handle to give herself just a second to breathe and collect her scattered thoughts and scrounge up one of her signature, megawatt smiles for everyone to see...she wasn’t nervous...she was ready, and she was sure. 

_She could do this._

Drawing her smile front and center on her freckled face, Rey lifted her chin confidently and pushed open the door. She was instantly drowned in a warm light that seeped in through the wall of windows, painted the wide-open studio with soft shades of gold and white. 

The floors were a pale, polished wood that only added to the ethereal feeling that the rehearsal space and Rey instantly felt a sense of calm wash over her until the room burst into thunderous applause at her arrival.

“Ahh! Ladies and gentlemen, our Daisy Buchanan is here!” Amilyn Holdo, dressed to the nines, as usual, floated over to a gobsmacked Rey at the door. The producer hovered and pressed a swift kiss to each of her cheeks.

Rey’s eyes darted across the room and saw a couple faces she mildly recognized, many she didn’t, and Rose, all sitting alongside one of the walls as they stretched. She bashfully smiled and waved before striding over to set her belongings with everyone else’s.

“Fashionably late, again, Ms. Jackon.” 

Rey spun around on the heel of her dance shoe and came eye to glowering eye with her sullen director. Ben’s dark stare radiated from where he stood, leaning deceptively casual against the piano,

“I...uh, sorry. Just let me…” Rey scrambled to pull the oversized sweater from over her head and toss on top of her bag and quickly gave her ponytail a tug as her eyes drifted back to his that hadn’t drifted from her for a second, “I’m ready to go whenever you are.”

“Excellent. If it’s alright with you, do you mind if I start my rehearsal?”

“Whatever you say, boss,” Rey stated cheekily, their eyes still glued together as he pushed his elbow off the flat top of the piano and leisurely strode over to her in long, slow strides. She couldn’t help but notice the tiny upturn of his mouth as he brushed past her.

“We’re going to start with the Pas de Deux from the end of the first act. Hux, come on over, everyone else - out.” Ben barked as followed him with her eyes as he walked across the studio to a tall speaker in the corner, “Ms. Jackon, this is Armitage Hux...your Gatsby. If I had my way, I would have auditioned you two together to see if you had any sort of chemistry, but we’ll work with what we’ve got and see how it goes.” 

As everyone else shuffled out of the room, a tall, red-headed man strode over to her with a smile and an outstretched hand,

“Oh, we _have_ chemistry, Solo.”

Rey accepted his hand with a grin and let him pull her into a swift hug, reaching up to hug the line of his jaw with her palm as he pulled away,

“I thought I saw you hiding in the corner. So good to see you again, Armie.”

“Oh...I didn’t realize that you’d met before,” Ben grumbled from the corner as Armitage Hux beamed down at her glittering blue eyes that were hidden behind pale eyelashes.

“We’ve worked together a handful of times on some smaller projects when I first got to L.A.,” Rey laughed as her handsome costar bent down to press a kiss to her knuckles, “It’s been ages.”

“Yes, and I still don’t forgive you for turning down my offer to take you to dinner,” Armitage mused, “Perhaps, I can get you to change your mind this time around…”

“Don’t even think about it,” Ben snapped as he stormed forward with an aggressive point of his finger, “There won’t be any backstage fucking around on my production, do you understand? Save it for the stage.” 

Rey held up her palm in mock surrender with a coquettish smile,

“No need to be jealous, _Mr. Solo._ We’re professionals. The only affairs will be between Daisy and Jay, I swear it.”

She couldn’t help it...there was something almost spectacular about the twitch in his jaw and the way he pursed his plush lips whenever she clapped back at anything he said. 

“Let’s get to work,” Ben groused as he flipped around a laptop to show them the dance they’d be performing during the song.

It felt like hours had gone by, and while the rest of the cast was in the studio next door, Rey and Armitage had been assigned to an exclusive circle of hell as they powered through learning their romantic duet. 

They’d gone through the motions and nailed down all the basic moves, and every time they’d start from the beginning and run through the entire song, breathless and sore by the time the music ended...Ben would glare past the side of Rey’s head and growl,

“Again.”

With a press of a button, the music would start again, and she would try to lose herself to the rhythm and the feeling of her body intertwined with her partner. She’d look into his blue eyes and try to convey the emotions that Daisy was feeling at that moment...of love, loss, and loneliness...and the need to go back to what she and Jay had before and rewrite the rest of their lives together…

...but as soon as Rey felt like she and Armitage had nearly nailed it...their director would sullenly declare once more,

“Again. From the top.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

Hours had gone by, and Rey was feeling completely worn out, more so than she ever had on any movie set when the stunts were beyond strenuous with a level of danger that this dance would never be able to compare to. 

Ben had just barked out another order for them to begin again, but Rey sat motionless with her palms on her knees, taking the only moment she’d been allowed to catch her breath in the last two hours. The frustration had been building up inside her for at least the previous ninety minutes, and suddenly, it all came flooding out all at once through her mouth,

“Stop!”

The brooding director’s eyes flashed up from his notes, giving her a scorching gaze that instantaneously sent a frisson of goosebumps down her arms. His frown deepened, and he lifted a single eyebrow as if to dare her to say another word, “Can’t we... can’t we just...take five or something?”

He pulled himself to his full height and glowered down at her,

“Missing your trailer already?” 

The fucking asshole was taunting her, and she was not going to allow that. Rey squared her shoulders and reached a hand out to silence Armitage who stepped forward to lend his two cents,

“What, you thought that I would?” she stepped forward with a confident lift to her chin, silently challenging him to do more..make it worse...but Ben Solo was an idiot if he thought for one second that she was a quitter. His gaze turned down towards her as she stepped up next to him with a challenging stare.

“I’m just counting down the minutes until you give up, your Highnessness.”

“Prepare to be disappointed, Solo. I just need the loo...is that allowed on your production, or should I bring a bucket tomorrow?”

Ben’s glare only intensified as he let out a huff of hot air whooshing past his plush lips,

“Go. Five minutes to catch your breath and then we are doing it again.”

A triumphant smile crept across her face, melting into a blinding grin of pure joy, and in that split second before she turned away, Rey swore she saw a flicker of something softer beneath his asshole exterior...and just as quickly as she thought she saw it, it was gone.

Rey nodded and turned on her heel and marched out the door, practically jogging to the restroom down the hallway. 

She burst through the door and immediately locked it behind her, desperate for a moment’s peace...a chance to think without anyone looking at her. Letting a slow breath rush past her lips, Rey stepped forward and placed her palms on either side of the granite sink, letting the chill of the stone calm her nerves and cool her from the outside in.

Lifting her head to look at herself in the mirror, she pressed her lips together and drew in a slow measure of air to try and center herself. For a while, Rey was convinced that they had been performing the piece at an impeccable level for only learning it that morning, but Ben remained dissatisfied with it over and over again. 

She ran through the catalog of steps and positions in her mind, quietly humming the melody along with the phantom dance her body was doing in her imagination. Rey closed her eyes to see Armie’s face in her mind’s eye to make her mind believe that he was Jay and she was Daisy...but instead of glittering blue eyes, she imagined smoldering amber…

Her eyes shot open with a flash as she let out a stuttering gasp into the echoing quiet of the empty room.

Okay. So she was distracted...he was distracting...but what of it? It had to be because she was so invested in the goal of proving herself against the accusations he’d made the night before. It certainly wasn’t because she was busy thinking back to their Julliard days and the times she tried to speak to the boy in the background, only to be met with a sullen grimace and a massive chip on his shoulder...even then.

Rey most definitely wasn’t distracted by the mental list her eyes kept making against her will as they flickered from her costar’s face to the simmering gaze of her director and the blackened flames that burned behind dark eyelashes. 

She wasn’t thinking about how tall he was and how broad his shoulders had become in the last few years...or how much more striking he was now that his raven hair had grown to his collar….or the way he watched her every single movement as she tried to lose herself inside the soul of Daisy Buchanan. Those were far from her mind since she was...you know, busy being a professional and keeping all of her focus on her costar and doing her job to her full ability...gorgeous, asshole director be damned.

Lifting her eyes back to the mirror, Rey took another deep breath as she looked over the luminescent sheen of the morning’s work on her brow, intermingled with the dusting of freckles across her face. Her hazel eyes were wide with the overwhelming sense of anticipation the day had brought that hadn’t seemed to fade away. It was like she had been standing on the precipice of something huge, something positively momentous, and all she needed was the smallest push to fall head over heels into the greatness that awaited her.

With a flip of her fingers, Rey summoned cold water from the tap and bent down to wash it over her face with a splash, scrubbing away the heated distractions from her mind so she could finally focus and give in to her instincts as far as Daisy was concerned.

“You can do this…_you can do this_,” she murmured to herself as the droplets of cold water took a gravity propelled journey from her cheeks to the granite beneath her fingertips.

She squared her shoulders and gave herself a confident smile in the mirror before turning on her heel to venture back out into the hallway. The sound of the two men’s voices filtered out into the hall, and Rey’s ears were instantly drawn to the low, baritone rumble that belonged to the director. She couldn’t quite grab what they were saying, but somehow, she felt that it was about her.

Rey pushed her palm against the wooden door and sent the door flying, setting her sights on the dark-haired man who was leaning casually against the wall in that way he seemed to lean on everything that that infuriatingly indifferent way,

“Listen, I know I’ve been distracted, and I’m sorry about that. I am trying to be professional and do my job to my best ability, but it would help me if you could...I don’t know...do some actual directing? I can’t do what you want if you don’t tell me. What, am I supposed to read your mind like I have some sort of...mystical mental connection with you? I’ve got news for you...this is historical fiction...not _science_ fiction...so would you please just talk to me, not _about_ me?”

Rey was practically out of breath by the time she finished her miniature little speech, growing more and more frustrated with each word that tumbled rapidly out of her mouth. Where on earth was the cool, calm, collected woman from dinner the night before who gave as good as she got? Suddenly, without a dining table to separate him, her own, hypothetical BDE began to evaporate into thin air as the corners of his mouth pushed up into a cocky smile,

“I wasn’t talking about you, Sweetheart...I was talking to him...about him,” Ben nodded over her shoulder to her costar, Armitage. She anxiously tucked her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes drifted back and forth between the two men,

“Oh. Well...is there anything I can do to help?”

“You’re doing beautifully, darling...truly, you are,” Armitage smiled at her from his spot along the mirrored wall, “Our director here was coaching me on how he wanted things to...what was the word you used, Solo...feel?”

“It just isn’t...it isn’t enough. At this point in time, Daisy and Gatsby had been apart for five years, and he pined for her _the whole time_. Daisy is...Daisy is aloof. She wants him. She craves what they had before...but Gatsby built a dream and a life around this vision of her he held in his mind. I want to _feel_ the desire he burns for her with…” Ben pushed himself away from the wall and began to pace in small circles as he gave his impassioned speech. 

“Care to elaborate, maestro?” Hux pressed as he nonchalantly settled into a folding chair with a sly grin.

Rey felt like a helpless bystander, floating somewhere above the ceiling when Ben turned his scorching gaze directly on her,

“I’d be happy to…” 

She let out a slow breath as he held out a large hand towards her in a silent command for her to take it and join him in the dance. Reaching out with gracefully extended fingers, Rey slowly placed them in his palm and instantly felt the rush of a thrill run through her as he closed his fingers around her hand.

Ben gave her a small tug and a quick spin to place her at his front. Her heart thudded in her chest as his broad chest brushed against her back with every rise and fall with each breath he took.

“Music, would you, Hux?”

As soon as the sound filled the room, the rest of the world melted away, and there was only the two of them. Rey felt his chest against her back as he stepped up behind her and pulled a silent gasp from her lips as he reached around her and splayed his impossibly long fingers beneath her bust. The warmth of his breath skirted across the column of her throat, and he pulled her flush against him and curled his other hand around to trail along the line of her jaw.

Rey leaned into his touch as if by pure instinct, following his lead as he pulled her into a spin. She followed her momentum all the way through with the lift of her leg and a graceful extension of her fingers across the room, putting her trust in him as he wrapped his arms around her waist as she stretched into oblivion. 

She tried not to think about the feeling of his palm curling around to the inside of her thigh, so deliciously close to...other, hungrier parts of her. There was no doubt about his strength as he pulled her like a top and sent her spinning again, against his chest and then into the air.

He caught her like she was made of air, his dark eyes practically glowing as she slowly slid down every inch of chiseled muscle with a lip of his lips,

“You have to believe it for the audience to believe it…” Ben growled as they both leaped across the studio in perfect synchronicity, landing on his knees to follow the momentum to her feet. His hands wandered up her legs as he stretched upwards, wrapping his arms around her as he pulled himself to stand. Another jump tore them apart once more, turning their eyes to each other with a scorching gaze, like they, themselves were no longer Ben and Rey, but Daisy and Gatsby, star crossed lovers who were attempting to recreate the joy of the past. 

They reached for each other, extending their fingers so that they could almost make contact from different sides of the studio, like the space between them was Manhasset Bay...Ben was at the end of Gatsby’s dock, reaching out for the green light.

Stepping to the music, Ben slowly ambled towards her and hugged the curve of her face. She helplessly sank into his touch, following his movements as he moved her into another slow spin before reaching out to stop her and curl her into his chest. His hands moved down down down to hug the curve of her ass, and with an elegant leap, he vaulted her into the air, capturing her in his arms against, only to let her slowly sink down his body and onto the floor. 

Rey sank backward with her shoulders along the floor and Ben followed with her, slowly sinking down onto her. They flawlessly melted together, like they were meant to fit, like magnetic puzzle pieces...drawn together across all space and time until the time came when they helplessly answered the call and collided into one person...one being. 

The music began to slow as Ben circled his arm around her waist, lifting her back from the floor in a graceful bend. She followed it through, letting her body mold itself to his as he trailed his long nose down the line of her cheek with a shuddering breath. 

They lingered for a moment, trapped in the spell that the music and their dancing had woven around them while Rey stayed lost in the molten flecks of amber tucked into the deep brown...silently counting the beauty marks on his face like they were the stars in the night sky…

She felt the tips of his fingers squeeze against her, sending her flesh aflame with a wild hunger that she was almost sure was a product of their dancing and the warmth of their bodies. There was something there...something unspoken written in their shared gaze... thrilling chemistry that held a fledgling seed of...something different, something unadulterated and pure, an invitation to explore the other within the dance. Now that it was over and they were themselves again, Rey found herself burning with a bad desire for Ben to grumble his usual response for them to start again, from the top. She was met with a delicious disappointment when, with his face hovering only a breath away, he murmured a quiet, 

“Perfection.”

Ben placed his palms on either side of her head and pushed himself away from her with a quiet grunt. He rose to his full, considerable height, clearing his throat with a press of his full lips before reaching down to pull Rey from the floor.

Rey’s head was swimming as the rest of her felt like she was floating somewhere above the ceiling as he continued to hold her gaze while her fingers remained laced in his.

It evaporated in a split second when he pulled his hand away and reached up to clap it on her shoulder with a forced smile,

“Uh...good job, Starlight. Better than I expected you’d be...I guess that superhero work paid off.”

Her eyes remained trained on his with her brows furrowed in mild confusion as he carded his fingers through the ribbons of dark hair before he strode over to a table and picked up stacks of papers, tucking them under his thick bicep as he plucked up a cup of coffee and made his way to the door,  
“So, uh, run through it a few more times...like that...and uh, then you’re good to head out. See you tomorrow. Be on time, would you?”

“You got it, boss,” Rey responded, his squirrelly behavior mystifying her more and more by the second. Ben gave them a curt nod with his back pressed against the door, stumbling over his feet as he pushed it open into the hallway.

She chuckled to herself as a slew of colorful curses echoed into the rehearsal studio as Armitage’s footsteps joined the sound from behind her. Leaning into him as he slung his arm around her slender shoulders, she felt a surprised laugh reverberate in his chest. 

When she lifted her eyes to her Gatsby, a look of surprise and amusement sat on his prominent brow as he pushed out a great puff of air that fluttered the auburn curtain that hung down to his eyes,

“Boy...that was pretty fuckin’ impressive, Jackson. Part of me wants to be jealous...but I’m mostly just...dazzled. You fuckin’ dazzled me.”

Rey absentmindedly reached up and wound a stray ribbon of her chestnut hair around her finger, twirling it around and around while her mind continued to drift back to the feeling of his body intertwined with hers and the magic they created together,

“Yeah...it was...it was something, alright.”

She was trying to be indifferent and lure her mind back to the night before when they had been closer to enemies and this...this electrifying chemistry was so far out of sight that she wouldn’t even begin to dream of it...but now that she knew what the heat of his body felt like, her flesh craved more.

The smart woman inside of her told her that she needed to ignore that delicious hunger that curled up deep in her belly...someone with his ego didn’t need to know that he held any sort of power over her. She didn’t want to lean in...she didn’t want to seem too keen to get along with him, but then her mind would drift back to their dance and how effortlessly easy it had been with him. Armitage and Rey had spent the morning going over and over it... genuinely working for the connection, but as soon as Ben stepped in - the world melted into a blur, and suddenly, the dance was the uncomplicated thing she’d ever done.

Her mind had already placed them together, setting the scene with her as Daisy and him as Gatsby...together again after too many years apart, and all she could think about was him and her in a pile of silk shirts on the bed with his hand on her waist and his mouth on her flesh.

Rey knew that she would have to be careful to make sure that whatever smoldering flame had flickered to life wouldn’t ignite into something bigger and harder to control...but then again...would it really be so bad?


	3. Only You Can Cool My Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's there to talk about? My boss says there's no fucking around on his production, so…" her smile grew as she stepped closer and pressed her body against his, reaching up on her tiptoes to place a soft kiss against his mouth, "As far as he knows...this never happened...and it won't ever happen again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tHANK yOU (iNSERT nAMES hERE) fOR bETAING aND tHE aMAZING mMOODBOARD.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48529291497/in/dateposted/)

The hallways of the 42nd Street studios were dark, and the air was hushed as Ben slowly padded down the corridor through the shadows, stopping to linger at a set of double doors to peer in the narrow windows.

A sliver of moonlight spilled through the floor to ceiling windows. That, intermingled with the bright neon from the New York City streets just outside, painted the wide-open studio with a mystical palette of light that made her seem all the more captivating as she moved through the different colored pools of light.

He found himself captivated by her movements that were both impossibly soft and profoundly strong. She moved with a dazzling grace that nearly took his breath away as she reached out her hand and extending her fingers to something, or someone unseen. Ben could only wish in his mind that it was for him - and he reached for her, helpless in the need he felt to be in her presence...like Gatsby reaching over the bay to the green light at the end of Daisy's East Egg dock.

Unable to resist the bewitching pull of her siren's call any longer, Ben bent his long fingers around the door handle and silently pulled it open as to not disturb her in her reverie. 

It was clear that Rey thought she was alone in the building as she filled each step with a purposeful clarity...she was dancing for herself, and it was painfully obvious how much of herself she was putting into the routine.

He stepped towards her, padding his bare feet quietly over the wood floors, softly swaying to the music that filtered across the studio. Keeping his eyes glued to her, Ben lifted his hands to step in as she spun, guiding her movements with his hands on her waist.

Rey balked and ceased her elegant movements, backing away with her eyes wide,

"Christ, you ought to not sneak up on a girl like that…"

"Where's Hux?"

She shrugged as she stretched her leg with a point of her toe,

"Off galavanting someplace with some girl…"

"...so, you're rehearsing by yourself? Why isn't your partner here with you? Isn't that what your partner is supposed to do?" Ben pressed, striding towards her with a scorching gaze. He was desperate to dance with her again...to feel her body pressed against his and the way they effortlessly melted together, "What a pity that he went and left you here, all alone…you know, _I_ could dance with you."

Rey hesitated with a quick lick of her luscious lips and a soft gasp before swallowing hard and turning her back towards him,

"I-I'm okay...I can do it by myself…"

"You don't sound very convincing, Sweetheart. I think you want to dance with me, you're just afraid to admit it."

"Afraid?" Rey spun around with a glint in her eye...a silent challenge for him to press his luck further, "I'm not afraid of anything…"

"You are. I can see it...now tell me. Is he good to you? Is he what you need?"

"Yes."

"Mmm...I don't think so. I can see it, Princess. He can't do to you the things that I do?" Ben stepped closer still and reached out to take her hand in his own and snake his arm around her waist. With a sharp tug, he pulled her body flush with his and smiled to himself when a quiet whimper tumbled from her lips. She was like putty in his hands - a perfect partnership - as he pressed his hips into hers and dipped her low. His eyes followed the long line of the column of her throat as her head lulled back with the movement, wishing he could taste her there, before pulling her back up to his chest, "You know I can take you higher…"

Rey's breathing was shaky with her fingers splayed across his chest. They were close...so close...and Ben could feel that neither of them were talking about mere dancing any longer. 

He reached up and wound his fingers into her bun and with a tug, pulled it free from its prison in a hair tie. It needed to be free, like her...free to move and be moved, like her. 

Ben pressed his plush lips into a thin line as he carded his long fingers through the silken ribbons of chestnut and curled it around his fingers and tilted her face up,

"I can't tell you how badly I've wanted this….I...I feel like I'm on fire…"

"I feel it too," she whispered as she snaked her hands over his broad shoulders and pulled herself closer, "Like I'm burning up inside and the only thing that will quench it is...is you."

"I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that I'm not alone in this…" Ben growled, skirting the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip. They parted softly beneath his touch, and when she let out a soft gasp, the heated coil in his belly began to burn all the hotter.

"You're not alone, Ben. You never were. Not ever," Rey whispered as she rose up on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his lips. 

It only took a moment for the ferocious blaze of their shared passion to consume them entirely. With an animalistic growl, Ben drank the whimpers from her mouth as quickly as he drew them from her...one after the other as they haphazardly ripped clothes from limbs without a care as to where in the studio they landed...or if some other night owl might walk in. 

His mouth wandered across her flesh, mapping each freckle with molten kisses like the chart master on a sea voyage and, no matter what priceless treasure he discovered, he still craved more of her. 

In a furious clash of tongues and teeth, Ben lifted her from the floor and pressed her against the floor-to-ceiling window and felt her back arch in anticipation, their breathing coming in rasps and groans that echoed in the empty rehearsal space.

With his arm wrapped snugly around her waist, Ben nuzzled the creamy expanse of flesh at her throat, nipping at the skin with his teeth as he lined himself up at her entrance. Rey keened beneath him, lifting her face to the neon light that seeped into the room as he stretched her. He devoured the sound with his plush lips as he began to rock into her with slow thrusts. 

Ben was determined to linger as long as he could in this delectable moment with her for a long as he could. There was no way that this resplendent women - his muse - would possibly want him in this way, and it was only a matter of time before he woke up from this fever dream. 

They moved together, partners in a different sort of dance...one that was written in their souls and they fit together even more seamlessly than when they rehearsed as Daisy and Gatsby. It was like their bodies were made to fit together, like matching puzzle pieces...twin souls born in the center of the same fledgling star. 

The pair of them fell into a natural rhythm, soft and slow with the music that still filtered in the air around them. The distant sound of the city below and their breathing was the only accompaniment to their dance. 

Every kiss was full with a raw intensity, adding fuel to the fire burning between them - hearts beating faster as Ben increased his pace, pushing them closer and closer to the edge. He kept his eyes on her face, watching her every reaction, every gasp, committing every delectable moan to memory. Rey writhed against him, grinding her hips in time with him as her head lolled against the window and she cried out into the silvery moonlight,

"Ben..." she whimpered, clawing at his muscular shoulders as her moans grew louder. He rocked into her over and over again, chasing his release wildly as she sang in his ear…

With a jolt, his eyes flashed open, and Ben groaned loudly as he rolled over on top of his sweat-soaked sheets. 

His hands were empty. Gone was the ethereal glow of the empty studio, and Rey along with it. Ben was left only with a stiff cock and an ache in his temples at the built-up tension that had grown worse and worse as time went on. 

He reached up to card his long fingers through his obsidian hair and rubbed firm circles against his temples, trying to ease the pounding headache he found there. Nearly every night for the last four weeks, he had dreamed of Rey - tempestuous and beautiful, just like her. His mind would pull him to the thought of their bodies intertwined, rolling together in perfect synchronicity in all the ways he wished that they could...only to find himself with a freight train running through his head as soon as he woke.

It had all started with that first fucking dance. Ben couldn't resist it...the pull to be near her...and they just fit so well in a way that was impossible for him to describe. Seamless and elegant, it was like their bodies were meant to move together in a dance. Ben lost himself to the feeling at that moment and quickly had to excuse himself after.

The dreams came night after night, more than likely spurred on by watching her move and sing all day long during rehearsals. He only added more fuel to the raging fire burning within him when he stepped out from behind his favorite spot to lean on the piano and directed her. With his hands on her waist, adjusting her hips here...his fingers with hers, elongating her reach there…

Sometimes, although he was sure he imagined it, he swore that he could hear a soft gasp tumble from her lips when he would align his fingers with her ribcage to help lead her in a movement or guide her spin...it was hard not to take that delectable sound with him and hang onto it for quiet moments when she would inevitably slink back into his mind. 

Rehearsals had been going...well, for the most part, even though the constant explicit dreams Ben was having of his star night after night had turned him into an even bigger asshole than his reputation had painted him to be. Rey delivered on scene after scene, flawlessly executing his direction, no matter how minute the task he'd ask of her. 

He swore she'd have dazzling chemistry with anyone. She was consistently amazing with all of her scene partners. From Finn Trooper, who has been cast as Daisy's cousin, Nick Carraway, to Rose Tico, a bright newcomer who was Daisy's oldest friend and professional golfer, Jordan Baker. She even lit up the stage with Poe Dameron, who had been cast as Daisy's two-timing husband, Tom Buchanan..but, much to Ben's chagrin, the best chemistry she had - that still didn't seem like enough - was between her and their Gatsby, Armitage Hux.

Ben's blood practically boiled when they were on stage together, and it was in those moments that he became the true embodiment of the brooding son of a bitch that all of Broadway knew him to be. 

He could see the frustration in her eyes when he'd make them start back from the top over, and over, and over again...and he lived for every second that she became Daisy Buchanan, molding herself into the character so effortlessly that she was no longer herself...except for one glaring problem.

He still saw him.

Armitage Hux, that smarmy ginger who flirted with Rey nonstop all throughout rehearsal. They were fine together...maybe good...but nowhere near the greatness that he required of them. There was just...something about the two of them together that just...didn't feel like it should.

Ben knew that the way the sight of them together angered him was...irrational...it wasn't like she was his girlfriend. No, she was merely a crush from a lifetime ago, come to haunt him and remind him of all the times he should have just ...asked instead of sulking in a corner. 

He sat up in his bed, groaning at the sight of the green _4:17_ on the clock that sat his nightstand, scrubbing his large hands over his face in frustration. Two hours was close enough to his usual time, Ben didn't see any use in trying (and probably failing) to go back to sleep. It was opening day, and he didn't have time for any more bullshit dreams with so much work left to be done.

Hours later and countless orders barked at terrified stagehands, Ben was practically buzzing as he paced back and forth backstage. He could hear the sounds of the orchestra warming up, and the quiet din of the audience as each velvet-covered seat was filled by another high-paying ass. 

He checked every box he needed...talked to the props department, swung by to see the hair, makeup, costumes, he even made sure there was just enough glitter and feathers...probably more than any Broadway show had ever had in the history of ever….but there was still something that Ben felt like he was forgetting.

Tugging on his silk, black bowtie, he spun on the heel of his Christian Louboutin shoes and headed down to the line of dressing rooms, hesitating for only a moment before rapping three times beneath the gold star on the door. He held his breath as the sound of muffled humming came through the door and tried to keep his face stoic as she pulled open the door.

He'd seen her in her full, Daisy regalia more than once, but there was something special about the way the light from the narrow hallway of the ancient theater shined down and caught the flecks of glitter in the corner of her eyes. It illuminated the entrancing flecks of gold and green tucked in the bright hazel of her eyes.

They were wide with surprise at first, the rose petal pink of her full lips parting ever so slightly as her eyes flickered down to his shoes and back up,

"You...you look very dapper tonight."

"Uh, I...thanks. You know, opening night and all that."

"Mmm…"

"So."

"Yes?"

"I, uh," Ben carded his long fingers through his hair as he wracked his brain for the reason why he'd knocked on her dressing room door. What, was he expecting that she was going to let him in? That she'd gratefully accept his wishes of luck? No, he was a fool, and he needed to get his fucking head out of the glittery clouds and concentrate on his job, "I just wanted to come and say...break a leg. You're... you've done good. Good job, Jackson."

"Ahm," Rey grinned skeptically, "Thanks? I'm…. I'm gonna go back to warming up now if that's okay with you…"

"Oh, right. Yes, of course. You...you do you," Ben nodded brusquely, fiddling with his cufflinks as he backed away and she slowly closed the door.

_Fucking idiot._

The encounter did nothing to ease the feeling that there was something he needed to do. He passed by the stage manager, grips, dressers, and stray members of the chorus, excitedly chattering over the sequins on their costumes. 

He was so enamored with the mental list in his mind that Ben nearly collided with one of his stars. Armitage clapped him on the shoulder with a cocky grin before reaching up to smooth back the copper hair at his temple,

"Alright there, Maestro? I hope you don't have stage fright...oh right... you're more of the _'behind the curtain'_ man, I forget. The spotlight isn't for anyone, mate, amiright?" 

Ben glared at him darkly before turning on his heel to pace small circles on the floor, his thoughts spinning and reeling as he thought if he was really about to do what his dumbass brain was telling him to do. It had been so long, and he'd always believed that he would be terrible at it….but with her...with her, maybe there was a chance. With the perfect scene partner, what is there to lose?

He stopped short and carded his long fingers through his hair wildly before lifting his burning gaze to Hux who's stared wide-eyed back at him,

"You have a sore throat," Ben snapped, raising his finger directly at the baffled ginger.

"I...what?"

"A sore throat. A pulled muscle. You broke your pinkie toe. I don't care what it is. You aren't going on."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Wanna try me, Hux? Come closer, and I'll give you a real reason, but I'd rather avoid assault charges...again."

Armitage fluffed the labels of his tuxedo and squared his shoulders with a crack of his neck,

"Good luck with your show then, I don't have an understudy, you arsehole."

Ben stepped forward with a slow smile curling at the edges of his mouth as the stage manager called out the five-minute warning. He reached out and clapped a wide hand on Hux's shoulder with a laugh,

"Let's keep a little optimism here, Cupcake. I've got a plan."

"A plan?" the ginger scoffed, shouting after Ben as he strolled away, "What do you mean a plan? It'll never work!"

"Never tell me the odds!"

Ben took a great, deep breath as he strode towards the curtain's edge and peeked out into the auditorium. He could do this. They could do this. It was for the best of the show, and they'd all thank him for it later. 

He pressed his lips together into a thin line, and nervously worked his jaw back and forth as the lights in the theater dimmed down to nothing. A hush fell over the audience, and the pit orchestra began the overture. 

This was it. There was no turning back.

________________

Rey sat quietly in her dressing room, tucked away safely from any distractions as the muffled sounds of the show's beginning filtered in through the space between the floor and the floor. She looked over her reflection and reached up to straighten the sleek, blonde bob that belonged to Daisy Buchanan. Her makeup was simple enough, with a little extra razzle-dazzle tucked into the corners of her eyes that shone like stars in the night sky when they caught the light. 

She leaned over her dressing room table and picked up a tube of lipstick, tugging the lid off with a pop. Parting her lips softly, Rey retraced the long line of her mouth with the muted, petal pink and pressed her lips together when she was finished.

Rey couldn't help the nervous energy she found herself caught up in...there was something so powerful about what she was about to do...something she'd never done before.

They'd rehearsed and rehearsed until she could barely stand doing another routine with Hux over and over again when Ben barked out the order that they start again from the top.

Her frustration with their demanding director threatened to reach an all-time high every single time he growled out, "Again," but it all evaporated in a flash as soon as he'd push himself off from the place at the piano he favored to lean on (when he wasn't leaning against everything else), and she would watch him in a breathless wonder as he slowly swaggered to her side.

Ben would offer her a direction and reach out for her, his touch instantly drawing a soft gasp from her lips. Her head scolded her for falling into the feeling, reminding her over and over that he was the world's biggest asshole who was touching her, right?

So what, he danced flawlessly, making her body respond in ways Rey knew she shouldn't feel...but the effortless way they moved together was intoxicating, and her mind traveled back there over and over.

Even now, sitting at her dressing room table, Rey's mind drifted back to the feeling of his Herculean body pressed against hers, and the way they moved together like bits of silk on the wind...bound together as nature bent and moved them to a rhythm written just for them.

She pushed herself back from the lightbulb-framed vanity and pushed her palms against the narrow table to stand. The delicate petals of her skirts whooshed softly as she paced around the room. Rey took a moment to run her fingers over the lovingly handmade costume, marveling in its pure beauty that reflected the febrile nature of Daisy's character, like it had been woven by real rose petals. 

Rey wasn't much like Daisy in real life, but she couldn't deny the similarities in their stories regarding the men of their pasts….

A scene partner like Armitage was more than any actor could ask for. He was passionate, responsive, and patient…. genuinely pleasant to work with...but there was something...something that Rey couldn't quite put her finger on about Ben.

The way he danced.

The way he looked at her...it was like how Fitzgerald described the way Gatsby gazed at Daisy…like how every girl wanted to be looked at by a man, and the memory of his dark gaze sent a shiver down her spine. 

She knew that the show would be successful the way it was. Ben had crafted a masterpiece, like all the other productions he helmed.

He was arrogant. Pushy. Infuriatingly good looking.

He was all the things that his reputation said he was...but he was more...somewhere beneath it all, Rey could feel it in her bones. Perhaps that was the real reason he could turn anything into gold.

She took a deep breath as a sharp knock rang out from her door, and the stage manager called in her two-minute warning.

Looking at her reflection, she smiled at Daisy Buchanan, who looked back at her, centering herself in the soul of her character as she prepared for the eventuality of coming face to face with her Gatsby.

Her Gatsby. Armitage.

It certainly wouldn't be a problem that, when she closed her eyes...she saw brown eyes instead of blue.

With a deep breath, Rey wrapped her fingers around the door handle and stepped out into the hallway.

When she stepped off stage after her first scene with Finn, Rose, and Poe, Rey was practically breathless from the pure exhilaration of being in front of a live audience. No matter how many times they'd rehearsed it, there was something truly magical about the soft gasp of 450 people when Rey emerged from a billowing cloud of silken, white curtains and the sniffles coming from the darkness when she forlornly sang about a beautiful little fool.

Barely able to contain her excitement, she dashed back down the narrow hallway to her dressing room as quickly as she could. She had some time before her next scene, where Nick invites Daisy to tea, and she comes face to face with Gatsby after so many years apart. 

She reached around to undo the clasp on her gossamer dress and let it slink off her body without letting it touch the floor, placing it on a hanger and onto her costume rack right away.

Rey lifted another hanger from the metal pole and smiled to herself as her eyes raked over the lilac silk-lined lace...one of her favorite costumes in the entire show. Her stomach fluttered anxiously as she pulled the dress carefully over her wig, giving herself a quick once over before heading back out into the hallway, just in time to hear Finn say,

"Don't be silly; it's just two minutes to four."

That was her cue. 

With the sound effect of the rain and a car pulling into a gravel driveway, Rey accepted her prop umbrella and strode onstage.

Her eyes grew as wide as Daisy's as she strode into Nick Carraway's apartment, marveling at the sight of all the blooms that lined every corner. She turned to her co-star with a smile and murmured in Daisy's playful voice,

"Is this really where you live, my dearest one?" Rey handed him her umbrella with a sly grin, lifting her eyes to where more flowers existed beyond the darkened hush of the audience, "Are you in love with me, Nicky? You must be, or why did I have to come alone?"

Her smile only grew as she called off stage to dismiss her invisible driver, Ferdie, to come back in an hour...when a loud knock rang out into the darkened auditorium. 

Rey's smile faded as she looked over the flowers, oblivious to who Finn was speaking to at her back, turning only at the last moment with a soft gasp when she saw him.

She swallowed thickly and lingered in the silence that Fitzgerald had so expertly weaved into his most celebrated work, letting her eyes rove over his broad shoulders and soaking wet, dark hair that was slicked back from his face like, he too, had been genuinely caught in the rain.

Ben Solo stared back at her, his dark eyes burning as they silently regarded each other before Rey blinked and Daisy came back to the front,

"I'm... I'm certainly glad to see you again."

He took a substantial step forward and continued to stare unblinkingly at her, and Rey held her breath as she waited for him to deliver his first line to her…

"I'm certainly glad to see you too."

Rey turned her gaze to Finn, who's eyes looked at her with a sense of guilt and a bit of "the show must go on,"

"We haven't met for many years."

"Mmm," Ben turned his eyes to a baffled Finn, who Rey wasn't sure was acting any longer, "Five years next November."

The scene played on, and Rey kept herself fully in character...to Daisy, he was Jay Gatsby, her lover from a lifetime ago. She was a professional, and as the saying went…_The show must go on…_

It still lingered in the back of her mind, the fact that he was here, standing before her, so effortlessly cool in his silk shirt and bowtie...the sullen young man she knew at school who had preferred to be out of the limelight and fight back against the massive legacy that was set on his broad shoulders.

This was a Ben she had never seen before, as unprofessional as it was of him to insert himself in the center of the show on opening night...he was so _right_ that, at times, Rey wondered to herself why he never gave it a chance in the first place.

He wore every expression with every inch of his face, acting the scene out with his entire body. This translated all the more when they danced...the same one from the first day of rehearsals that they had mastered together, straight out of the gate...like something that was always meant to be. 

His voice, when he sang to her of the Green Light, was powerful and clear...so smooth and reached her deep inside her heart like they were the real Daisy and Jay. Rey thought that, typically, one would refer to a man's voice as beautiful, but his was...and she wished he would never stop.

She nearly lost herself to the sound of it, and there...in a sea of silk shirts that floated down around her, Ben held her as she cried, wiping her tears away with the pad of his thumb. 

He slowly tilted her chin up with the tip of his fingers, whispering Daisy's name ever so softly as he brought his lips down to hers. 

Rey instinctually wrapped her arms around his shoulders and lingered for a moment with a quiet hum, blinking up at him softly when he pulled away. His dark eyes burned into hers, and she felt a flicker of...something tucked deep inside the flecks of amber swirled in the deep brown.

After a beat, Ben crashed his lips down on hers once more. At first, Rey's mind reeled, thinking of the fact that this searing kiss was _not_ in the script, but that didn't keep her traitorous body from leaning into him with a whimper. Beneath his utterly kissable lips, she was putty in his hands, and the rest of the world fell away...no orchestra...no bustling backstage...no audience. Just she and him...Daisy and Jay...curled up amongst the rainbow-colored ocean of silken shirts.

Breathless and a little boneless as her mind came back down from where it had flown into the rafters, Rey splayed her fingers against his broad chest and pushed him away, knowing that they needed to get back to the scene and bring the first act to a close. 

The audience was hushed - nearly silent - as Rey quietly began to sing....restless and as overwhelmed as Daisy at that moment...that moment that changed the course of the entire story. 

From that moment on, everything would change for them...for Daisy and Jay. Rey wasn't sure what was happening between her and Ben. The kiss felt like...more...but she couldn't get the simmering rage out of her head. The scene needed to end, and soon...there was a man who needed to get a piece of her mind.

As the curtain came down and the lights came up onstage, Rey bounded up from the set of Gatsby's West Egg mansion and stormed off stage, only to be quickly followed by Ben.

He dashed after her and called out her name, sliding on the slick soles of his shoes she suddenly came to a halt. Reaching out with the tip of her finger, Rey jabbed it into his chest with a fury,

"What in the hell do you think you're playing at, Solo?" she shouted, tears of frustration building up behind her eyelashes, "What, just because this is _your show_ that you can blindside your actors whenever you feel like it? How fucking unprofessional!"

Ben gaped at her with a hint of an amused smile as he stepped towards her,

"It wasn't all that bad, though, was it?"

Rey glared at him, pressing her lips into a grimace, only incensed further by the sight of his cocky grin,

"That is _not_ the point! And...and what in the hell was that kiss? You think you can go off-script just because you wrote it? You fucking...stuck up….half-witted...scruffing-looking…"

Their shouting match had begun to draw the attention of the crew, and Rey's eyes were wild when Ben stepped forwards and caged his long fingers around her forearm to haul her away from the gaggle of onlookers,

"Get off me!" Rey yanked her arm away, "I know how to walk without you holding on to me!"

"Good," Ben growled as he chased her down the line of dressing room doors, "I would hate for the entire crew to hear your primadonna outburst, Sweetheart...maybe you should _scream_ a little louder so the audience can hear you?"

"I don't care if they hear me," Rey shouted, shoving him hard in the chest against her dressing room door, "The whole world needs to know what an...what an ass you are!"

"An asshole? You don't know me, Princess... there's a whole lot more than what meets the eye...you just have to look a little closer…" he murmured darkly, leaning down to bring his gaze to meet hers. 

They glowered at each other silently, like a wordless challenge to see who would break first...but after what felt like an eternity...they did it together.

One moment, they were shouting, the next, Rey reached out and fisted the fabric of his shirt and yanked him down to her mouth, devouring the animalistic growl that tumbled past his lips as she blindly reached for the doorknob.

The door fell open, flinging them inside her dressing room along with it. Ben kicked it shut with his heel as he furiously worked the line of buttons down his chest and shrugged his suit from his broad shoulders. Rey fiddled with the clasp on the back of her dress, letting it slink to the ground with a musical flutter of the beads as it landed on the floor. 

With a flurry of limbs and bits of glitter-soaked clothing that flew in every direction, Ben curled his arm around her waist, hoisted her into the air and pressed her against the cool, plaster wall. He reluctantly tore his mouth away from hers and murmured against the column of her throat as the fire that had burned inside him for weeks finally combusted,

"Fuck, Rey...I want to…but I don't have.."

"Would you shut up... I'm on the pill just...be quiet, we don't have much time."

A slow grin spread across his face and in one swift motion, he plunged into her with a loud groan. Rey keened deliciously in his arms as he began to move...slowly at first as he leisurely pulled away and sank back in to allow her body time to mold with his. 

She rolled her hips against his, rattling the glasses and trinkets on the vanity as she reached out to wrap her fingers around the edge of the mirror. It clattered against the wall as they began to move together, increasing their pace to one of pure, passionate ferocity.

Ben grazed his mouth along the edge of her jaw, smiling to himself as she shuddered against him and moaned into the flesh of his shoulder as he bucked into her over and over again. 

He caught her lips with his and languorously devoured the airy gasps that he drew from her with each snap of his hips, chasing the feeling of the burning hot coil deep inside him that grew and grew with the sensation that this...this thing was finally happening. It wasn't a dream...it wasn't a figment of his imagination. She was here, in his arms...and she felt real...and right. 

With a loud groan and a final thrust, they found their release together and remained silent and still with only the sounds of their intertwined breathing to act as an accompaniment to their fevered dance. 

Ben bent down and pressed a fevered kiss to her lips, lingering for a moment before a sharp knock on the door yanked them from their shared reverie,

"Five minutes 'til curtain, Ms. Jackson."

"Ehm, thanks! I'll be right out!"

Rey brought her eyes to meet his, chewing on her bottom lip with a hint of an amused smile. She reached out and brushed her fingers along the side of his face, and he couldn't help but lean into her touch with a soft sigh. She blinked slowly and brought her hand down to his chest and splayed her fingers out of over the broad plains of muscle - and pushed.

With her feet planted firmly on the floor, Rey wandered through the sea of fabric scattered over the floor and fisted the fabric of his shirt to fling it at him,

"You heard her. Five minutes. We have a show to do, Captain."

"I...uh, yeah. You're right," Ben caught it and slung his arms through the fabric as he watched her in wild wonder while she flitted about the room and stepped into her next costume that was more glittering than the last, "Um, so...do you wanna talk about whatever...whatever this is?

Rey gave him an amused look as she straightened her blonde wig and lowered a jeweled headband over the top of it before bending down to swipe a fresh coat of red lipstick over the long line of her mouth.

She pressed her lips together with a pop and turned on her t-strap heel to face him. He swallowed thickly as she sashayed towards him with a coquettish smile,

"What's there to talk about? My boss says there's no fucking around on his production, so…" her smile grew as she stepped closer and pressed her body against his, reaching up on her tiptoes to place a soft kiss against his mouth, "As far as he knows...this never happened...and it won't ever happen again."

His mouth hung open as she stepped away with a Cheshire cat smile and reached for the door handle, turning back for a split second to meet his eyes with a bite of her crimson bottom lip before pulling the door shut behind her. 

Ben's head was spinning from the ghost of her kiss and the memory of the feeling of her wrapped around his cock just seconds before. He let out a strangled chuckle with a slow lick of his lips when he realized she threw his words right back in his face. No fucking around on his production...and yet here he was, breaking his own rule. 

She said it would never happen again...but Ben wasn't sure he'd be happy with that. Now that he'd had her, he knew he'd crave her again and again...but at least they had tonight.

Another rapt knock on the door jolted him back to modern-day. He let out a shaky breath and carded his long fingers through his hair as he pressed his mouth together into a thin line, working his jaw back and forth with a shake of his head,

"_Fuck_." 

If he as been burning with a bad desire before, he was surely on fire now.


	4. May I Have This Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They ship you.” Rose declared excitedly.
> 
> “They…._what?_”
> 
> “Ship you.”
> 
> “On what ship.”
> 
> “Reylo.”
> 
> “What’s a Reylo?”
> 
> “You two.”
> 
> “I...us? Ben and I?”
> 
> “Mmhmm,” Rose nodded enthusiastically.
> 
> “I still don’t understand what that means,” Rey turned around in her seat and tucked her robe a little closer across her chest as she lifted a piping hot cup of chamomile tea to her lips, “What’s a...ship?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AT LAST!!
> 
> I been bursting at the seams to share with you that it was me who was writing for you, Semperfidani!!
> 
> I have seriously come to love these two knuckleheads and I hope that you love them just as much as I do!! 
> 
> I still have a couple of chapters left, and I CANNOT wait to share them with you!!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48689290658/in/dateposted/)

“They’re all talking about you, you know.”

Rey looked past her reflection in the mirror of her dressing room vanity as she gingerly applied a second coat of the blackest mascara to her lashes,

“Who is?”

Rose, lounging lazily in Rey’s favorite reading chair in the corner, already decked out in finger waves and black eyeliner as Jordan Baker, lifted her lit-up cell phone screen to Rey,

“_The Times. The Post. The Daily News._ The reviews are….have you read them?” she looked down at her screen and swiped her thumb upwards, “They are amazing...and all about you...and Ben.”

Rey lifted a skeptical eyebrow and moved on to the other eye,

“I try not to read the reviews and, you know, stay in the moment.”

“Not even Twitter?” Rose paused to type something out with both of her thumbs and her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration, “You should read what they’re saying. It’s fantastic.”

“What’s so fantastic about it?” Rey scoffed as she screwed the lid of her mascara closed, tucked it in a drawer, and adjusted the mist on her humidifier.

“They ship you.” Rose declared excitedly.

“They…._what?_”

“Ship you.”

“On what ship.”

“Reylo.”

“What’s a Reylo?”

“You two.”

“I...us? Ben and I?”

“Mmhmm,” Rose nodded enthusiastically.

“I still don’t understand what that means,” Rey turned around in her seat and tucked her robe a little closer across her chest as she lifted a piping hot cup of chamomile tea to her lips, “What’s a...ship?”

“Oh, honey...do they keep you locked in a closet back in LA?” Rose laughed, “When I say that the internet ships you two...it means that they loved you so much together in the show...that they wish you were together in real life.”

Rey coughed into her mug and grimaced when the steaming liquid went straight up her nose, sending her into a coughing fit,

“They….they, what?”

Rey scrambled for her water bottle and slowly sipped and tried to ease the scorching blaze in her throat. Rose sat forward in the cushy chair and offered her a tissue,

“You okay there, babe? Be careful with your voice…” Rose stood up and stepped to Rey’s side and rubbed slow circles on her friend’s back with the palm of her hand, “I didn’t mean to shock you, honestly! It really isn’t surprising that people are thinking this way...you two are shockingly good together…”

“It’s not _that_ good…”

“Tell that to _The Times_.”

Rey turned back to her reflection and dabbed at the corners of her glitter and kohl-lined lashes to capture the tears that threatened to fall free, gently clearing her throat against the dull ache that bloomed from accidentally inhaling the hot tea,

“Okay,” she breathed as she tried to banish the thought of her back pressed against her dressing room wall with Ben between her thighs, “I suppose he is a better scene partner than I figured he’d be.”

“No? Didn’t you know him before in acting school?”

“Yeah,” Rey fiddled with the stacks of hairpins and makeup brushes at her fingertips, “He was...different then. Like he was avoiding diving in deep and tried to stay in the background. The talent had to have been there...it’s in his blood.”

“Like, family-wise?”

Rey nodded, thinking back to the sullen young man who always watched her as she danced, but never had a friendly word to say, no matter how she tried...but the more she knew him now, the more she understood,

“His _entire_ family.”

“Like...the whole thing?” Rose pressed as she leaned down to share space in the mirror to adjust the line of her red lips with the tip of her finger.

“Rose. He’s acting royalty. His uncle was in Galaxy Wars back in the seventies...apparently, his dad is in big-budget stuff...I’m not sure who, but I’ve got a pretty good feeling...and his mom…”

“His mom?” Rose was practically on the edge of her seat, breathless with excited anticipation.

“I looked up to her since I was a little girl...I think I might faint if she ever came to this show…”

“Rey! Who is it? Tell me! I am desperate here!”

“Leia Organa.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.”

“Well, no wonder. Those are impossible shoes to fill...the only...the only person I could think who would even come close to the caliber that she is...is...I don’t know...Barbara Streisand and Bruce Springsteen rolled into one??”

“He’s kind of amazing, though, isn’t he?” Rey sighed as she absentmindedly toyed with the edge of her faux wedding ring that belonged to her character.

“What...don’t tell me that you actually like the guy…”

“He’s...I mean...I...he’s a good…”

_Actor. Dancer. Kisser. Lover._

“He’s a great scene partner. Generous. Easy to play off of,” Rey spluttered as she circled the tip of her finger around the rim of her mug. Rose seemed unconvinced, slowly blinking at Rey like she was searching for a tell with a look that only grew more suspicious when a knock on the door interrupted them,

“I’ve got some flowers for you, Ms. Jackson.”

“Come on in!” Rey answered, lifting her eyes to the door that only grew wider when the most stunning floral arrangement came into view. The perfume of the lavender-colored roses washed over her right away as she breathlessly reached for the card tucked into the dozens of blooms.

“Stars…” Rose sighed as her eyes roved over the bouquet as the stage handset it down on an end table, “Who are those from? What’s the card say!”

Rey tugged the small, rectangular piece of cardstock from the white envelope and let her gaze drift over the elegantly scrolled handwriting and the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald that she knew by heart,

_I wish I had done everything on Earth with you._

“It doesn’t say,” Rey stated, caging her bottom lip between her teeth as she read the words over and over. While the card didn’t exactly have a signature on it...Rey knew right away who they were from. She stuck her nose into the center of the bundle of dusty lavender blossoms and inhaled the sweet aroma of them. 

“Lavender roses…” Rose hummed as she quickly typed something into her phone, reading from whatever information she pulled up, “The lavender rose is often a sign of enchantment and love at first sight. Those who have been enraptured by feelings of love and adoration have used lavender roses to express their romantic feelings and intentions...oh holy shit, Rey!” her co-star and friend lifted her dark eyes to meet hers with a facetious grin, “Who have you been enchanting, _my God!_ This is so romantic…”

“It...it’s too much is what it is…” Rey mused, tucking the card back into the bouquet as the five-minutes to curtain warning knock rattled the door. Rose bolted up from her seat and pocketed her cellphone into her robe,

“Fine...keep your secrets, missy. I’ll find out eventually! Break a leg, tonight!” She blew Rey a kiss and a wink before sliding the robe from her shoulders to reveal her own, glittering, black dress and stepping down the hallway towards the stage. 

With a few extra moments to spare before her own curtain call, Rey sat back in her chair and slowly sipped at her hot tea, letting the warm liquid ease the burn in her throat from earlier when she had coughed into her mug.

A week had gone by since opening night, and things had gone...well for the production. Rey had mostly been truthful when she told Rose that she hadn’t read the reviews...and she most certainly hadn’t been on Twitter to see about the barge or dinghy or whatever they were on…not that they were on anything together, except for that one time on that one night that Rey most _certainly_ hadn’t thought about the next day in the shower...or the day after that...or the day after that. 

She had meant what she said. There was no way it was going to happen again, no matter how badly her body wished it to be so after eight shows a week. It was the most delicious reminder, to have his body aligned with hers in dance and his mouth pressed against her lips as they kissed...night after night to thunderous applause.

Curious what the world thought of the sudden and unexpected casting change, Rey allowed herself to read one review the next morning, after their heated performance on stage, and explosive encore in her dressing room….

She stepped down the street in her spring jacket and dark sunglasses to the corner bodega, offering a smile to the owner as she tucked a copy of the _New York Times_ and _The New York Post_ beneath her elbow.

Rey laughed to herself when she thought for a foolish second that she would be patient and wait until she got back up to her temporary Greenwich Village penthouse, cracking open the first paper as soon as she had a cup of coffee in hand. 

_Jackson and Solo are electric in GATSBY!_

_Match made in Broadway Heaven._

_Chemistry so dazzling, it effortlessly reaches the cheap seats._

Rey sipped at her flat white, eyebrows growing ever higher with each word she read...part of her had hoped that maybe there would be at least one review that would have convinced the producers to boot him from the role and plant him firmly back into the director’s seat. He would undoubtedly have been a lot easier to avoid that way, but since it had been nothing but raves, it looked like Ben Solo was Gatsby...for good.

She couldn’t help but second guess what she said about it only being a one time deal during the curtain call at the end of the show. Their eyes would meet from either side of the stage, they’d stride towards each other and Ben would reach for her hand to deafening cheers that practically overwhelmed her. 

That first night, after their heated tryst during intermission, Ben had smiled down at her and softly squeezed her hand. All signs of the sullen director had gone and left only a twinkle in his eye and curved dimples around his plush mouth.

On the second night, he bowed over her hand and placed a scorching kiss on her knuckles. 

The third night, he surprised her yet again when he pulled her to his chest and pressed a swift kiss into her hair, sending the audience (and probably the internet, too) into a wild frenzy. 

Each night, Ben would do something different, some sweet gesture to seal the end of their show before they would take one final bow, and head off-stage - where Rey would dash away to her dressing room as quickly as possible. 

True, the more time she spent with the grouchy director...the more she liked him. Yes, he was incredible to dance with, sing with, kiss, and ...other things ...but there was still some sliver that told her that a single dalliance may have been one too many. 

He was her co-star. _He was her director._ Surely, there was some sort of moral no-no when it came to that kind of thing. Ben had said so himself, and yet...there was this magnetizing, intoxicating, infuriating feeling that tugged at them and brought them closer and closer any time they were near each other. 

Rey closed her eyes and centered herself inside her mind, clearing away all the noise so she could focus and bring Daisy to the forefront. 

With one last sip of tea and a dazzling smile in the mirror, she pushed herself to stand and stepped out the door towards the stage.

*

“Rey!”

Ben reached for her as she bounded off-stage, the beginnings of hot, silvery tears making hot tracks down her freckled cheeks.

She couldn’t believe that it happened and in front of a full house. 

During the second act, Rey reached for the highest note of a full belt that she’d done effortlessly a thousand times before and....faltered. She was mortified, and nearly found herself rooted to the spot with five-hundred pairs of eyes on her. Her head began to spin, and she powered through to the end of the song. The rest of the show went by in a flash, during which her voice cracked a few more times, and Rey knew that she was utterly screwed. 

During the curtain call, when the cast was showered with the whoops and hollers of the audience, Rey’s smile faltered with a shaky breath when her gaze met his. Ben’s dark eyes were filled with concern, but she was barely allowed a moment to divert her eyes before he pulled her to his chest and brought his lips to the curve of her ear,

“Are you okay?”

Rey pulled away and offered her best, red carpet-worthy smile and looked out to the audience. She mouthed “thank you” with a small bow, and a kiss to her fingertips as tears began to prick at the corners of her eyes. 

The curtains fell closed in front of them, and Rey turned on her heel to bolt past baffled stagehands in a flurry of gossamer silk and glimmering sequins, escaping the tips of Ben’s fingers as he reached for her.

Only moments after Rey shut her dressing room door behind her and collapsed into tears at her dressing room table, a loud knock rattled the door and Ben’s alarmed voice along with it,

“Let me in.”

“I’m good, really…” Rey called out, dashing the hot beads from her cheeks when Ben’s voice became quieter and more urgent,

“That’s a fucking lie. Let me in...let me help you.”

“Ben…just, please go,” Rey’s voice cracked again.

“Would you please just talk to me?”

Rey looked up at her reflection and sighed as she reached for her jar of cold cream. She applied it to her face and wiped what was left of Daisy Buchanan away, hoping that her silence was enough to send him away.

With all the glitter wiped away, Rey felt like herself again, but her heart still ached, and her head spun in wild circles as the words _“vocal strain”_ kept rattling around in her brain. 

Her gaze shifted down to her cellphone when it buzzed loudly on the smooth surface of the table, reading the incoming message with a sigh,

_Kaydel Connix_

_Your laryngologist is on call and can get you in asap. Holdo called and wants to get ahead of it before it gets worse. The car is waiting to take you._

Rey scrubbed her fingers down her face to her neck, trailing her hands over the dull ache that was starting to bloom there. It wasn’t the end for her, and certainly something she’d get over with time and vocal rest...but the idea of standing backstage while someone else stepped into those shoes…_her shoes_, made her heart ache. 

She didn’t want to have to stop doing what she loved so dearly...to give them the thrill of the live performance, but when it really came down to it...Rey didn’t want to share _him._

With a sigh, Rey stood up and quickly stepped out of her costume and into a slim pair of black trousers, a loose white tee, and an oversized cardigan. She strode to her dressing room door and paused for a moment before tugging it open.

She should have known. 

There he was, leaning against the wall like he had never left, smelling freshly showered with damp hair and a smell about him that was nearly too delectable to be true. As soon as the door opened, Ben jolted up from his perch and stepped in front of her,

“Can you talk to me, please?”

“I’m good,” Rey stated. Ben pursed his lips in a deep grimace as she sidestepped around him and waved Antoine over, “Is the car ready?”

“You bet,” her faithful bodyguard nodded, stepping in right behind her as she made her way to the stage door.

“That’s a lie, and you know it!” Ben called out after her from behind Antoine’s broad back. Rey turned for a brief moment when she reached the metal doorway and met his gaze for a split second, offering only a small shake of her head and a far-off smile before turning away.

With a push of the door, the roar of the waiting crowd washed over them. Rey made her way from fan to fan, signing Playbills with a smile and murmurs of sincere gratitude. The whole time, Ben was never far away, trailing after her closely as she traveled down the line. 

Just when she thought she was in the clear, sliding into the dark, leather seat of the plush Cadillac that was parked on the curb for her, the door opposite of her opened, and Ben plopped in beside her. When she opened her mouth to speak, he held up one of his impossibly large hands to silence her,

“Be quiet. Rest your voice. I’m going with you.”

“Fine,” Rey grumbled, sitting back in her seat as the SUV pulled away from the curb and towards the blinding lights of Times Square. 

A short while later, Rey stepped out from a sterile exam room and into a crisp, clean waiting room. She wanted to laugh when she saw Ben with his oversized body crammed into a tiny chair, with his elbows perched on his knees as he carded his fingers through his dark hair.

His head darted up as she walked out, and he burst from his seat in a flurry of long limbs and black clothes,

“Well?”

“I am well on my way to full-blown laryngitis,” Rey rasped, capturing her bottom lip anxiously between her teeth. Ben mashed his mouth into a thin line and worked his jaw back and forth with a sigh,

“Okay, that’s doable. A few nights off. Rest your voice, and all will be well.”

“A few days?” Rey balked, “To hell with that. He gave me a prescription for Prednisone. I shouldn’t miss a single performance.”

“You’re not taking that shit,” Ben fumed darkly, “It has terrible side effects.”

“They can’t be that bad…” Rey strode past him with a roll of her eyes and pressed the button for the elevator.

“Wanna bet? Headaches. Blurred vision. Insomnia. Nausea. Changes in fucking personality.”

“Maybe you should take it, yours could use a bit of an adjustment.”

Ben glared down at her as the elevator doors slowly slid open and followed her inside, and Rey instantly felt the sting of regret from her words. They were quiet as the lift’s motors hummed above them, but Rey could feel the charge buzzing between them. With a single shared glance, it flared suddenly, and her mind instantly went rushing back to the moment she fisted her hands into his shirt and crashed her lips to his.

Rey diverted her eyes and focused her gaze on the toes of her flats, silently counting the seconds to when she could be home, in her bed and have a few fucking moments to herself.

Ben followed her to the sidewalk, stuffing his hands in his pockets for a moment while looking at his feet before reaching out to open the door of the SUV. Rey stopped and placed her hand on the metal doorframe, hovering just inches from his fingers as she looked up at him expectantly,

“Rey, listen…I…”

“Yes?” 

“I really mean it,” Ben dipped his head down to bring himself closer to her, the close proximity sending a quiet shiver down her spine.

“Mean what?” she whispered softly, letting the sound of her hoarse voice get carried away with the sound of the wind and the New York City traffic.

“What I said.”

Rey’s eyes flittered back and forth between the dark swirls of honeyed bourbon, thinking back to the note that had been tucked into the stunning bouquet that had been delivered to her dressing room that evening. 

_I wish I had done everything on Earth with you._

Rose had told her the meaning of the flowers he’d sent...there was no question that they were from him...she’d never thought of the meaning of flowers before, but couldn’t help but think that he had done it on purpose. Enchantment and adoration...could he? Could they? More importantly…_Should they?_

He slowly reached up and carded his long fingers through her hair, and Rey couldn’t help but lean into his touch with a sigh. The corner of his mouth curved up into the ghost of a smile as he tucked a stray ribbon of her chestnut hair behind her ear.

“Remind me what that was?” Rey hummed softly while his fingers lingered around her ear.

“The Prednisone. It’s not worth it. Go home. Rest. We’ll hold down the fort, and Daisy is all yours when you come back.”

Rey’s heart sank with a sigh as she looked down at her shoes. Missing a show was the last thing that she wanted...but perhaps it was for the best,

“Right,” her tone was clipped, and she found herself more eager than ever to get back home, “Could I...could we give you a lift home?”

Rey felt his hand curl under the curve of her jaw and lift her eyes to meet his in the late-night city glow,

“I’m good, but thank you, Sweetheart. You go home, I want you to rest so we can get back at this amazing thing we are doing...” Ben smiled and leaned down ever so slowly. Rey thought she knew what was coming, they had kissed so many times before, only just as Daisy and Jay...never as themselves, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for it. 

She blinked up at him as he drew closer, practically holding her breath in anticipation as they drifted closer...and at the last second before his lips touched hers, Rey turned her head to the side. Her heart fluttered at the contact of his lips at the corner of her mouth, but she didn’t allow herself to linger - almost immediately pulling back from his grasp and into the waiting car. 

A lopsided grin lingered on his lips as he shut the door behind her, and the last thing she saw as they drove down the street was the image of Ben Solo drawing the tip of his finger across the long line of his mouth like he was memorizing the feeling of her flesh against his. 

*

Rey barely lasted the day before she started to pace up and down the hallways of her luxurious penthouse in Greenwich Village. She’d drank more tea than she could stand and was beginning to go a little crazy from sitting still.

Rest, he said. Take care of herself, he said.

Rey didn’t realize that it would be so fucking hard. 

The time flowed by like molasses in the depth of a bitter, New York winter. She paced up and down the white halls of her sprawling apartment, trying to soak up some of the bright sunlight that streamed in the walls of windows and bounced off the brilliantly white walls. It was something that had been arranged by her management, but the amount of space seemed like such a waste to her, and honestly, made her feel lonelier than she should in a city with millions of people in it. 

She’d tried to lounge on the sofa in her elegantly decorated living room, taking turns between reading a book and watching tv. Rey flipped through the channels until she settled on an older movie about a staggeringly handsome archeologist who felt achingly familiar. It was interesting enough as she went on an adventure through the desert as Doctor Montana Smith searched for a dangerous and ancient artifact, desperate to find it before the Germans got their hands on it. 

As soon as the credits rolled, the sun was beginning to dip below the skyscrapers in Manhattan, and Rey found herself restless all over again. She climbed the stairs to the rooftop veranda and settled herself into the sette to watch as the sky turned from blue to a brilliant symphony of blazing orange and fiery reds. 

So mesmerized by the fading light, Rey’s eyes drifted closed for what she thought was only a moment, but when she woke, the sky was dark with a speckling of stars above her. She sat up from the comfortable sofa and looked at the time on her watch with a sigh.

_9:17_

It was getting late, and the show was going to wrap up soon, but Rey couldn’t stop the ache in her heart and in her limbs. She wasn’t able to use her voice...but he body still worked...right?

She pulled herself to her feet and stretched her arms over her head with a wide yawn. There was no way she could sit here any longer, waiting for the time to pass her by when she could be out there living…

Moments later, dressed in rehearsal clothes that were meant to be moved in, a loose hoodie, sweats, and sneakers, Rey stepped out into the street, put her fingers in her mouth, and whistled loudly.

A bright, yellow taxi screeched to a halt in front of her. Rey grinned and promptly slid into the backseat, holding up a piece of paper with the address on it to the driver while pointing a finger at her throat with a half-smile.

The driver nodded and gave her a wink before setting the meter and taking off into the night.

The 42nd Street studios held a welcome silence after the deafening cacophony outside in Midtown, when the crowds of tourists were at their thickest. Rey let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding when the elevator doors opened on the familiar floor where they rehearsed for _GATSBY!_

She was gloriously alone when she stepped into the wide-open studio space, not bothering to flip on the lights as the doors shut behind her. The area was so magically lit all on its own by the moonlight and the city outside, painted an ethereal mix of pale white and neon that mixed together in slow, flashing pools of light on the wood floor as the brightly lit billboards outside flipped through their ads. 

With a swift tug, Rey pulled the hoodie from her shoulders and tossed it to the edge of the room, doing the same with her shoes and sweats, reaching down smooth the sides of her form-fitting leotard as she stretched out her toes.

Padding softly over the cold floor, through the delicate beams of light, Rey set her phone on the piano in the corner, taking only a moment to flip through her playlists before finding the right song to play. 

As the sweet alto of Sarah Bareilles filled the studio with sound, Rey slowly stretched her neck from side-to-side, letting the music fill her from the outside in. The rhythm started to take over, as she lost herself quickly to the sound of the soaring voice and soft strings.

_Saturday, empty room, filled with people._  
It don’t mean a thing to  
You and I, holding hands  
Nobody knows, nobody understands  
I don’t care for sunlight  
That only means it’s over  
And I’m in no mood for that 

Rey spun on her toes, letting the music carry her and speak for her in all the ways she wished to since her voice had been taken away. The melody took over where her words would be, letting her body be the language of her soul as she effortlessly pirouetted. 

The fluttery, gossamer fabric of her tan leotard fluttered around her as she moved and spun, moving seamlessly with her body as she moved from side to side. Even alone in the studio, Rey could feel his presence all around her. She could feel his eyes watching her as she moved, and the warmth of his hands on her waist to guide her in her movements - a true partner.

She wished she could be with him at that moment, alone together, on stage, as Daisy and Jay...intertwined in each other’s arms and her, wishing that each scene was just a little bit longer.

_Stay tonight_  
Don’t come morning, don’t come light  
They may be lies, say it, say that we’ll be alright  
If we stay tonight 

With her eyes closed, Rey let the music transform her, like beads of ink in a pool of water, flowing in elegant arcs and swirls with her limbs in constant motion. As she moved, she felt more like floating, more than anything else. Her heartfelt lighter, but there was still something missing…

_My hands are shaking_  
This is a complicated love with me  
Keep your eyes closed, I’ve seen it, baby  
I’ve seen where this goes 

Rey’s breath caught in her throat when a pair of warm hands curled around her waist, setting her into a spin. She breathlessly landed against him with her hands on his shoulders and her eyes wide as his eyes burned into hers.

When she opened her mouth to speak, Ben pressed his fingers against her lips with a smile that made her want to melt,

“Don’t talk. Not with words, anyway. Let’s just...let’s be us in this way, okay? _Please._”

Rey ran her tongue over her bottom lip before capturing the soft flesh between her teeth and giving him a small, reassuring nod.

Ben reached down and wrapped his arms around her waist, letting the tip of his nose linger in the sumptuous flesh in the soft bend between her neck and shoulder before setting her to spin like an autumn leaf. 

They moved slowly, losing themselves to the shared ecstasy that their wordless communication filled them with. Rey let Ben’s hands guide her, pressing against the broad planes of muscle in his chest to send herself across the studio with a point of her toe and the flex of her calf, spinning on her toes to leap back into his arms.

Every movement was steeped in absolute control and determined precision - and every one of them led her back to him. With each poised stride she took, it became more and more obvious to Rey that she and Ben had something special...something beyond chemistry on a stage. They had an unexplainable connection that was impossible to put into words, but the dance told them everything that they needed to know - that both of them wanted this as badly as they needed air to breathe.

_Gonna feel it baby_  
Oh I don’t wanna cry  
I know we’ll get to tomorrow and say goodbye  
That’s what I’m asking for  
Tonight 

There was still that loud, little voice in the back of her mind that told her it wasn’t a good idea...that is was just a disaster waiting to happen. Think of the show. Think of the press. Would it all be worth the headache?

She looked into his eyes as he held her to his chest and slowly let her slide down his body to the floor. The music began to slow, and Rey was practically breathless. 

There might not be a tomorrow - not for them...but there was tonight. 

Rey darted her tongue over her lips, feeling her breath catch in her ribs as she wordlessly reached up to trail her fingers across the pillow-soft and utterly kissable flesh of his mouth. 

Ben’s dark eyes drifted close with a deep groan when she lingered and silently battled with herself if, just once more, she'd take one kiss...just for her.

Without waiting another second, Rey reached up on her toes to gently lean in and press a kiss to his lips. He pulled away for a moment, his eyes wide and unsure, like he was silently asking her if she was sure that it was what she wanted.

Rey swallowed the growing lump in her throat, ignoring the burning feeling in the back of her mind as she momentarily threw caution to the wind and silently nodded at him.

Ben wound his long fingers into her hair and pulled her to his mouth, devouring her whimper with a fervent kiss. It so much more than words or their dance could say, filling every inch of their beings with an electrifying thrill that their bodies had craved.

Rey’s hands wandered over the long lines of hard, corded muscle in his back, pulling him closer as his mouth moved against hers in delectable ways that they were never able to explore on stage. 

For a moment, they pulled apart, and Rey knew that the moment was nearly over...Breathless and shaking, Ben’s eyes were filled with a dazed sense of wonder and Rey’s with an eagerness to explore further, but enough concern that told her that they had better stop before they got ahead of themselves.

No words were spoken between them, but the look shared in their gaze spoke volumes - telling a story that was worthy of them and whatever...this...was. 

Rey let out a quiet sigh as she reached up to trail her fingertips against his cheek. Ben’s dark eyes shifted from quiet bewilderment to one of quiet disappointment. He mashed his kiss-bruised mouth together into a thin line, working the edge of his jaw back and forth while he silently gazed down at her. 

Her hand drifted down to his chest with a crestfallen smile before stepping away to slip her clothes back on. She pulled her bag over her head as he watched her step across the now-quiet studio to retrieve her phone from the piano. 

Ben stood as still as a statue, which was strangely appropriate, since Rey had seen him naked and the man was built like carved marble, keeping his gaze on her while she slowly stepped up to him. 

Rey gave him the smallest smile and reached up on her tiptoes to leave the ghost of a kiss on his lips. His hands lingered on her waist, his need to hold onto her for one last moment perfectly apparent as she pulled away and his fingers were left reaching for her. 

She pulled on the door handle, looking back for a split second to see him standing there alone in the darkened studio.

Her thoughts were racing as the elevator carried her to the main level, half expecting that he would be there when the doors opened again, gasping for breath from his jaunt down the stairs to beat the lift. 

She kicked herself for the pitiful feeling of disappointment when she was met with the empty lobby, shaking her head as she stepped out into the warm evening air and the blessed New York City noise that would quiet the dizzying thoughts in her head. 

The yellow taxi cab carried her Downtown to Greenwich village, and Rey sat with her head lolling against the back seat as she watched the city fly past her window...the rushing blur of light and color did nothing to cease the infernal thoughts in her head.

It was a bad idea, she and him.

She didn’t know anything else that was truer than that. 

Rey knew it was a bad idea, and yet, the memory of his kiss lingered on her lips and filled her with a need to keep kissing him until she imploded or it didn’t seem like a terrible idea anymore. 

She wished her mind would stop running...stop thinking about him...she had to let it go. It was for the best.

...but it was a pretty good bad idea, wasn’t it?

There were worse things to want, and in a life where she consistently played it safe...what would be the harm in seeing this bad idea through?

The next morning, after a full night’s rest, for her mind and her voice, Rey woke up in the bright morning light that reflected off the buildings across the street and into her wide-open bedroom. 

She stretched out her limbs and thought about maybe testing the limits of her voice, but thought better of it and chose to snuggle back into the mountain of pillows on her king-sized bed, instead. 

The day stretched on like the one before, with a bit of reading here, sipping tea there, and the occasional episode of Competition of Kings...she was about six years behind and now was as good a time as any to catch up with the rest of the world.

No matter how she tried to focus on anything else...Rey’s thoughts kept drifting back to him. 

There were times that she wished she could go back to when they knew each other before and say something...do something...if she had known what they could have had, maybe she would have done something differently.

Knowing that there was something there between them was easy. Having her heart accept, it was much harder. Rey knew that she was built with this automatic defense mechanism that helped keep personal attachments at bay to protect herself from being hurt. 

It had worked out well for her, keeping her focused and allowing her to achieve her dreams and far beyond what she ever imagined...but at what cost?

Here was Ben...standing in front of her, open and wanting, needing her. She was thrilled with the idea most of the time, but her brain kept imagining a distance between them that Rey was beginning to wish would disappear and allow her to see him, to feel him for what he really was.

Being him with so easy. An effortless dance that was choreographed just for them. She felt safe in his arms, and when his eyes were locked on hers, it was like she could see the entire world inside them.

How that came to be with a man she could barely stand at the start of all this was beyond her comprehension, but Fate worked in mysterious ways and opened doors that weren’t for her to understand until she’d already passed over the threshold. 

Wasn’t it time for her to be brave, take his hand, and step through?

The light of the day began to fade away, and Rey silently watched the blue drift from soft pinks to a blazing blend of fiery crimson and gold from her sofa. She absentmindedly fiddled with the hem of her oversized sweater when her doorbell rang.

With a sigh, Rey pulled herself up from her comfy nest on the sofa and strode to the door that led to her private foyer where the elevator led, silently grumbling to herself about having some words with her doorman once she had her voice back.

Stretching up onto her tiptoes, Rey peered through the peephole and let out a soft gasp and turned on her heel to place her back to the door.

“I know you can see me, Captain Starlight. I saw your shadow. I...I brought you something...would you please let me in?”

Rey carded her hands through her hair as her heart thumped rapidly in her chest, filled with a nervous excitement...and a mild confusion at his presence. With a tilt of her wrist, she looked at her watch. The time set a deep crease between her eyebrows and her hand flew to the knob to yank open the door. 

Leaning against things, as he always did, Ben Solo nearly tumbled into her apartment head over feet. He righted his broad shoulders and gave her a hint of that lopsided smile,

“Bout time you let me in,” he stated playfully. Rey lifted her arm with a frown and tapped the face of her watch urgently. Ben’s eyes flickered down to where she pointed and back up to her face, his smile melting into something more thoughtful, “The show must go on, and…” he took a deep breath and a solid step towards her to reach up and trace his thumb against the edge of her jaw, “I wasn’t going to do anything without you.”

Rey stepped away with her brows knit together, growing more and more frustrated at the loss of her voice. She wanted to beat on his chest and scream at him for squandering his talent just for her...he had something amazing and, although she wouldn’t have admitted it when they met, the show was better because of him...because of them.

Part of her was flattered that he wanted to be the Jay to her Daisy...that it seemed that his fire burned only for her. She felt it too, the bad desire, the need to be near him, to move with him, to sing with him. He was here now, couldn’t she just accept it and let it be enough.

They curiously stared at each other for a few moments, like Ben was waiting for the other shoe to drop and Rey to pushed him back out into the foyer and never let him in again.

She thought about it...but the longer green-flecked hazel searched molten pools of honeyed bourbon, her resolve began to melt away. The appeal of the two of them allowed some time alone was thrilling, to be sure. Just she and him. No audience. No cast or chorus. No producers. No photographers. No critics.

Just them.

Rey breathed out a soft sigh and offered a playful half-smile and held out her hand to him. He looked down to it and back up to her face, and a slight flicker of doubt crossed his features,

“You sure? I don’t want to...you know...I don’t...impede on your time? I just...I wanted to take care of you.”

A broad smile pulled at her mouth and she nodded, capturing his long fingers with her own to draw them to her mouth where she placed a kiss into his palm. When she looked back up to meet his burning gaze, she mouthed a silent “thank you,” and pulled him towards the couch. 

“Hold on a minute, Sweetheart,” Ben tugged at her arm and stopped her in her tracks. When she turned back to face him, he held up a canvas sack in his hand with a smile, “Wanna give me the tour and show me where the kitchen is?”

With a slight smile and a quiet laugh, Rey motioned with her head and wound her arm through his to lead him down the hall. They stepped into the sprawling space with sleek, wooden cabinets that lined the far wall, gleaming marble countertops, and backsplash over the polished range. Rey turned on her heel and placed her palm on the cold, stone surface of the enormous island at the center, and hopped up to sit upon it. 

Ben looked around the immense kitchen with a casual look, stepped forward, and placed the canvas bag on the marble next to her,

“So. Got pots and pans?”

Rey let out a silent laugh with an amused smile. She realized the irony...here they were in this massive kitchen...a kitchen that she didn’t use, and didn’t know how to. Her grin grew wider as she reached across his broad chest to the drawer at his hip, tugging it open with a flick of her wrist to reveal stacks of take-out menus. 

A boyish laugh erupted past Ben’s lips, and Rey’s heart fluttered at the sound. It felt like something special that not many people were allowed the luxury of hearing. He always kept up the guise of the hardass, but Rey was starting to realize that there was so much more to him.

“Well,” he hummed, leaning towards her to brush his shoulder against hers, “We’ll have to rectify that immediately. I’m going through your shit, is that cool?”

Rey nodded enthusiastically and leaned back on the marble counter to watch him in wild wonder as he went to work. He pulled out pieces from her cabinets that she didn’t even realize she had. Heaving a heavy, enameled cast iron pot to the stove, he turned on his heel and offered her a smile with a twirl of a knife before making quick work of the tomatoes on the board. 

It didn’t take long before he noticed her watching him so intently as his knife sliced through the tender fruit like paper. His smile grew, and he waved her over with the tip of the blade,

“Come here, let me show you.”

Rey held up her palms with a shake of her head and a grimace, but Ben was relentless,  
“Rey, come on. You’re good at everything else you do, why not this? You just need a teacher.”

She sighed and nervously chewed on her lip for a moment before hopping down from the marble and walked around the island to where he was. He held out his arm and motioned for her to stand in front of him, and as soon as she had the cutting board in front of her, Ben caged her in with his muscular arms and hovered his chin over her shoulder,

“Here, take the knife, I’ll help you,” he hummed quietly in her ear, placing the butt of the tool into her palm before wrapping his fingers around hers, “Keep the tip on the board and rock the blade. Let it do the work for you…”

Rey held her breath as he stepped forward and pressed his chest against hers, barely paying attention to anything else as they diced through the rest of the tomatoes.

When they were finished, he pressed a molten kiss on her shoulder before stepping away to toss the contents of what they’d prepared into the pot.

Ben strode over to the wine fridge, pausing with the silent question of permission before Rey nodded and he pulled a bottle from inside. He rifled around in the drawers for a moment to find the bottle opener and a pair of glasses. 

He opened it with a pleasant _pop_ and poured them each a glass. Rey accepted his proffered glass and held his gaze as he held his out to her and began to speak,

“You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known - and that is an understatement.” 

Rey’s heart skipped a beat when the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald came out in Ben’s rumbling baritone, and a sheet of goosebumps traveled up her arms. She wished she could say something, anything in return, but could only let out a soft breath and a faint smile as she took a sip of her wine. 

She wished that they could talk more without it being one-sided, she desperately wanted to know him more, and for him to know her, but was satisfied just being in his company. 

Rey hopped down from the counter and motioned for Ben to follow her into the living room where she picked up the remote for the flatscreen that was mounted on the wall and pulled up a selection of movies.

She couldn’t help but notice the tips of Ben’s ears turn a shade of pink when the face of Doctor Montana Smith filled the screen. Rey pointed up at the image and back at Ben with a playful smile and a silent question. Ben frowned at her with a shake of his raven hair, pausing for a moment as he thought if he should answer her or not.

He broke when Rey put her hands on her hips and gave him a pathetic little pout,

“Yeah, that’s him...that’s my dad. We don’t talk about that, and we certainly aren’t going to watch it. Can we move on now?”

Rey’s smile was incandescent with pure, victorious joy as she bounded back to the kitchen, following the delicious smells that wafted from the stove. 

Like it was magic, the mishmash of ingredients in the pot had simmered away and developed into a delectable blend of flavors and pasta. She watched Ben with wide eyes as he pulled a bundle of his concoction to a bowl and twirled it around a fork. 

Her lips parted without thinking as he held it out to her, taking the bite into her mouth. She let out a sigh as the symphony of flavors exploded in her mouth, and she suddenly found herself in the middle of Tuscany.

Rey looked up at him in amazement. He was an accomplished director, but not only that...he could sing. He could dance. He could act. It really wasn’t fair that, on top of all that, he was an impeccable cook too.

It didn’t take long for the food and the wine to disappear. Rey ambled to the wine fridge and pulled out another bottle and fresh glasses, motioning for him to follow her up the stairs. 

She smiled to herself when he bounded after her, and she felt the ghost of his heated touched on her waist as they climbed the wide, circular staircase to the roof.

The sun had long sunk behind the horizon, and the city had become a shimmering mosaic of electric light. Millions of windows were illuminated across the island of Manhattan, painting the sky with a dense mass of glittering skyscrapers. 

Rey settled herself onto the couch beneath the glass sunroom, lifting her eyes skyward as she waited for Ben to join her. 

It only took a moment for him to stride to her side. The cushion shifted beneath his weight as he sat beside her. They had become used to each other so well by now, that when Ben lifted his arm, Rey wiggled against his ribs without thinking. 

It was as effortless and natural as when they danced - like it was a feeling that they already knew so well, they couldn’t help but fall into the rhythm of it together.

They sat in comfortable silence with the sounds of the city below as their only accompaniment. Rey placed her head on his chest and centered herself in the feeling of his heart beneath her cheek, smiling softly when Ben began to slowly trace lines up and down her arm and place a soft kiss in her hair. 

There was something about Ben that made her feel so complete, it terrified her a little. She was sure that, by now, she was most certainly smitten...and to think: she’d thrown her drink in his face only a few weeks ago.

It was odd, the way Fate brought two people together.

Rey felt delightfully sleepy as she sipped her wine. Warm from the outside in with him beside her and the feeling of his steady breathing beneath her cheek, her eyes began to drift closed. Blinking slower and slower each time until she was out like the random windows in the skyscrapers surrounding them. 

When she opened them again, her gaze was met with the early morning sunlight blooming softly between the buildings. The vibrant, golden petal pinks and brilliant golds stretched up into the vast expanse of inky blue, filling the world with a warmth and an invitation to a new day...or a fresh start.

She stirred against the warm body beneath her, tilting her head to look up at Ben Solo’s serenely sleeping face. With a stretch of her hand, Rey traced the soft line of his jaw with the tip of her finger, not daring to test her voice just yet.

He blinked in the radiant light of the dawn and wrapped his arm more snugly around her waist. With his free hand, Ben scrubbed the sleep from his dark eyes before looking down at her with a soft sigh,

“I like this. I like this...a lot. Rey, I…” he hesitated, reaching to caress her face as he anxiously mashed his lips together in a way that only made her want to kiss them all the more, “I like this. _I like you_. Can we...could we? Fuck, I am screwing this all up…”

Without thinking, Rey decided she would finish it for him, climbing into his lap in a single, fluid motion. She placed her palms on either side of his beauty mark speckled face and leaned down to press a feather-light kiss to his plush lips. His dark eyes darted between hers as she pulled away, filled with everything from elation, passion, and quiet anxiety that it was all too good to be true.

Rey closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she prepared to use her voice for the first time in days...if any moment was meant to be the first time, it had to be right then.

“Don’t be afraid, I feel it too...I want you too. I want this.”

An elated smile tugged at the corner of his mouth for a moment before he pulled her mouth down to crash into his.

They lost themselves to the rhythm of this new dance in a flurry of limbs, clothes, tongues, and teeth, soaking up the light of the brand new day. Before this rising run, they had merely been silhouettes of themselves, but as the sun brilliantly filled them with light, they radiated together as one.


	5. when the party's over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quiet weekend away in a snow-covered wonderland causes Rey and Ben to reassess their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This....got entirely out of hand...but I love it and wouldn't change a thing.
> 
> Also, you've been reading my fics long enough to know that I can't let you off the hook without a little bit of angst...I'm sorry, I love you!
> 
> Also (is there an echo?) I made two boards because...because I could and I wanted to you squirm a little from the very start of this chapter...I'm sorry, I love you!
> 
> [Come say hi on Twitter!!](twitter.com/kaybohls)

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48725404861/in/dateposted/)

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48725101193/in/dateposted/)

“You know this is a terrible idea, right?” Rey insisted, staring out the window of the black Range Rover as Ben drove them down a snow-covered road in secluded Vermont, “Someone is bound to see us.”

“And here I thought that I was the pessimist in this relationship, Starlight,” he looked over at her with a toothy grin, impossibly relaxed while they plowed through a few inches of fresh power on the gravel road, “Besides, no paparazzi would even be able to make it through this...and even if they did, you'd be mostly unrecognizable fluff with all the layers you’ve packed. Imagine the headlines..._Star director, Ben Solo, spotted with mystery fluff girl in Vermont_.”

“Hey,” Rey warned, “I wanted to be prepared and couldn’t take the risk that I’d be cold...you know how I am.”

“I know something we could do that would keep us plenty warm…” Ben teased, giving her a wolfish grin as he gave the black-leather covered steering wheel a slow turn to pull into the long drive of a quaint bed and breakfast.

It was picturesque like a glittering postcard with the entire world painted in white, like a fresh canvas that begged for the artist to bring it to life with color. Even the trees had been frosted like a wedding cake in a way that instantly caught Rey’s eye and took her breath away. 

Ben reached out and captured her hand with his long fingers and brought it up to his lips. Her heart fluttered in her chest as he pressed his impossibly plush lips to her knuckles, unable to keep her smile away as his signature Solo smile pulled at the edges of his own.

It had been four months...four glorious months since that morning when the day’s fledgling light painted them anew, washing away the past - leaving only the two of them as the rest of the world around them faded away. 

It was strange...maybe even a little frightening sometimes, how quickly she fell. What an odd feeling, one that coursed through her body, not unlike how she felt the first time they danced together...just so much more. It was terrifying and overwhelming, but so unbelievably right how complete Rey felt with him. Like she was in the eye of a dangerous hurricane, but as safe as could be in the center. Like a hole in her heart, she never knew was there had suddenly been filled. 

Rey hadn’t expected it, how Ben had gone from someone she was confident she couldn’t, and wouldn’t ever be able to stand. A ghost from another life...a missed opportunity - and now they were here, and now she wasn’t sure she could picture herself without him. 

There were still times when she was terrified of the secret getting out. She still wasn’t prepared to share him, to share the thing they had. What they had on stage as Daisy Buchanan and Jay Gatsby was something different...what they had in private was something that Rey selfishly wanted to keep to herself as long as they could. 

So, they tried their hardest to keep things under wraps. Rey knew that the day that the press found out about them would be explosive, and she was desperate to avoid it. Rey knew it was probably naive of her to think that they could keep it a secret for long, that they could happily live in their little bubble - just the two of them. The risk of what would change once the bubble burst was one she wasn’t ready to take just yet. 

No matter her anxieties, Ben was always there, her stability in a chaotic world. An anchor in a stormy sea. The brightest star in the darkest night sky. 

They’d come together in the warmth of the late September sun, and together, watched the colors of the city change between the long lines of buildings that filled nearly every inch of the concrete jungle. 

The trees of Central Park melted from rich greens to the vibrant hues of Fall, painting every windswept corner of the city with fallen leaves of the brightest reds and warmest titian golds. As Autumn wrapped herself for the changing of the seasons, Rey wrapped herself up in woolen scarves and sweaters as the Broadway season went into full swing. 

She and Ben established a routine early on, living the day to day like nothing had changed. They would show up to the Gershwin separately and go directly to their dressing rooms to prepare for the show. All of Rey’s pre-show rituals were the same, except now, there would always be a single, lavender rose waiting for her on her dressing room vanity. The sight of it would make her smile as she’d lift it to her nose to take a breath of the blessed aroma it provided. 

Rose would swing by, like usual, and read off whatever new rumors that had sparked all over Twitter. Her friend and co-star would laugh and joke about how she was “shipping” them now too, and all Rey could do was smile into her tea because it was true...all of it. 

They’d meet again, night after night, on stage in their glittering West Egg glory when she’d murmur, “I am certainly glad to see you again” and it became more and more real with each time she uttered the words. 

At the end of the show, they’d take their bows to thundering applause and Ben would warm her heart with a sweet gesture like he’d done since opening night, just before the curtain fell. In the quiet moments after the curtain fell, but before the lights came up, their eyes would meet, and Rey would see that spark burning there - just for her. 

Ben would keep possession of her hand, with his fingers intertwined with hers until they reached backstage, where they would split off to their separate dressing rooms. She’d emerge not too long after the end of the show, glitter-free and in her own clothes, having washed away the remnants of Daisy Buchanan down the drain of her shower, and Ben would be there, like always, leaning against the wall beside her door.

The crowd would scream and cheer as they exited the stage door, practically swarming them as they made their way down the line of proffered playbills. They’d murmur words of gratitude and pose for selfies...every once in a while meeting the other’s gaze with a smile. 

They’d share one last look before departing in separate, black SUVs - something that Rey had insisted they keep to uphold the secret they suddenly found themselves holding - and share a flicker of that bad desire that smoldered between them.

Rey would breathlessly watch the floors tick by in the elevator as it carried it closer to her lofty penthouse that had been unbearably lonely until now. With a ding, the doors would slide open, and he’d be there waiting for her. 

They’d crash together like a wave on the shore, a flurry wild limbs and haphazardly thrown clothing that would leave a trail down the hallway to her bedroom...or the kitchen counter...or the roof…

Rey happily lost herself there, wrapped up in his arms until the early morning light. Every time she woke up there in that home they had created for each other, the feeling of it got more profound, more complete, and more dangerously bewitching. 

They lived there together, in their secret little bubble all their own, living their days apart and their nights together until the last of the leaves fell from the trees and an icy, easterly wind blew in from across the Atlantic. 

She was protective of their privacy, desperate to cling to the secrecy of it all. There were some days when Rey wondered if Rose had her all figured out...if the kisses on stage were too fiery and filled with a desperate passion for being merely acting. She never told a soul and was sure that it was the same for Ben, until one night in November. 

A knock rattled her dressing room door a few minutes before the show, one that was unmistakably his. Rose looked up from her Twitter feed with a playful look in her eye as Rey called out, “Come in! We’re decent!”

The playful giggle that she and her friend shared evaporated into thin air when Rey looked up and saw Ben in her doorway - standing behind a small, older woman with graying hair and dark eyes that were eerily familiar. Rey’s gaze shifted instantly from the bemused expression that the woman wore, to Ben, who looked back her with an anxious grin.

After a beat, Rey found her words and was only able to manage a quiet, “Hey,” before the mystery guest piped in with an incredulous look over her shoulder at the man who towered over her,  
“What are you waiting for, Bennet? Aren’t you going to introduce me, or does the cat got your tongue?”

“I...right, um, Rey Jackson...Rose Tico, this is my mother…”

“Leia Organa…” Rose breathed, rising from her seat with a look of pure astonishment. The older woman gave her an amused grin as she excitedly shook her hand before turning her attention to Rey, who was still sitting, speechless at her vanity table. 

The theater legend stepped towards Rey with a soft smile and reached out her hand. Rey pulled herself to stand on trembling legs and accepted her proffered hand with a shy smile.  
“I’ve been really looking forward to meeting you, Ms. Jackson. I’ve heard so many good things about you from my boy.”

“Good things, I hope,” Rey countered.

“The very best,” the older woman grinned with a twinkle in her eye that pulled a soft gasp from Rey’s lips. She couldn’t help but wonder if Leia knew something else about her, especially when she pulled her in closer and ensconced Rey’s fingers with her free hand, “Break a leg tonight, dear. I wish you both the _very best of luck_.”

Ben gave her his signature, lopsided smile and an awkward wave that Rey returned with a small grimace. 

Moments later, between scenes when they were relatively alone backstage, she shouldered up to him and murmured, “I wasn’t aware that I was meeting your mother tonight...some warning would have been nice.”

Ben merely chuckled and the delectable sound reverberated in his broad chest in a way that made her toes curl in her dance shoes,  
“Sorry, Starlight. I knew if you even got a hint, you’d be an anxious mess, overthinking every tiny little thing…”

“...not like I don’t do that all the time anyway…”

“Especially about us.”

“_Us_…” Rey breathed, looking over the bright lights that illuminated the stage just steps away, caging her bottom lip between her teeth as she let out a sigh to mingle with the sound of the pit orchestra and the voices of the chorus. When her gaze started to drift past the shimmer of the feathers and sequins on stage, Rey felt Ben’s fingers curl beneath her chin and lift her eyes to his.

“Hey,” his deep baritone was quiet, just enough for only them to hear and the pensive look on his face melted into a smile that was as soft as the early morning light, “Stop worrying. It’s going to be fine.”

“You sound so sure…” 

“That’s because I am Sweetheart. More sure than I have been about anything,” Ben stated thoughtfully, slowly tilting her face up to meet her lips with the softest kiss.

Rey held onto the feeling as they kept up the secret as the days ticked by. They spent a sleepy Thanksgiving together, curled up on his sprawling sofa at his place - positively stuffed from the delectable dinner that Ben had prepared. 

They slept away the nights, ensconced in each other’s arms as the first snow fell over a sleepy Manhattan - and in the firelight of a cold December night, Ben leaned over and murmured a breathtaking “I love you” in her ear. 

It didn’t take long for her to meet him with an answer of her own and, knowing that she did made her want to hold onto the sacred thing between them and keep it all their own and away from the world outside. 

She knew that if they had it, it would get twisted and defiled into something else entirely, something that would suit their needs - and not theirs. 

Through it all, though, Ben made her feel safe and let them stay alone in their ivory tower, away from the world...except when Christmas rolled around, and Rey found herself in the middle of a Solo family dinner, where she had been wholeheartedly welcomed with arms and heart open-wide.

She felt more at home with them than she had with almost anyone. The enthusiasm that Ben’s parents had for his career was infectious, and Rey would have never had any idea of the scope of it. Leia, a legendary star herself, kept stacks of scrapbooks of Ben’s early work, before Julliard and after...and even had a clipping from an article about the school that had a faded black and white photograph of a handful of students lounging casually on a set of bleachers. There, at the front, was Rey’s own, unmistakable smile, and there, just behind her was Ben.

Ben’s father, Doctor Montana Smith himself, Han, sidled up beside her with a laugh as she let her fingers linger over their faces,  
“He sure was a cantankerous fellow, wasn’t he?”

“He wasn’t all bad,” Rey mused with a smile, lifting her gaze to meet Ben’s across the room who returned it with a sly wink, “Plus, he’s cheered up quite a bit in the last few months.”

“I’m sure that’s no accident, Sweetheart.”

They returned to Manhattan on the joyous highs that their Christmas holiday together had filled them with and rode it all the way to New Year's Eve, where Ben kissed her in the light of the fireworks bursting over the New York City skyline, and they created all the warmth they needed until the early morning light. 

When February rolled around, they were allowed a blessed week off that Ben insisted that they take full advantage of. Rey had her objections, insisting that it was only a matter of time before the cat was out of the bag and all the internet speculation would implode into something so much more real and change their life in a way that Rey wasn’t prepared for yet. 

When he presented his plan of a quiet weekend away in a quaint little town in secluded Vermont, Rey couldn’t help but say yes when she saw the photos of the tiny little bed and breakfast at the end of a snow-covered, tree-lined road. 

They set off after a leisurely morning in the city, rolling out in the sleek, black Range Rover only once Rey was absolutely sure she had plenty of layers to survive in the snow. She curled up in the cushy passenger seat with her feet tucked up on the dashboard and music playing quietly on the radio as they made their way the two hundred miles north of the center of the universe. 

Rey marked the passage of time by using the time to try and master her newest hobby. She could tell that it amused Ben, who kept making sidelong glances at her as she concentrated on each individual stitch with her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth, but it wasn’t long before her pent up, jittery energy needed a different sort of outlet the further they got away from the city. 

Her eyes grew wide as Ben turned the car down a narrow, tree-lined drive, taking in the sight of a quaint, colonial house at the top of a snow-covered hill. It was butter-yellow with black shutters and snow clinging to every flat surface.

“Stars, it’s like a gingerbread house, isn’t it?” Rey breathed, leaning forward to look up at the inn through the windshield. Ben smiled over at her as he put the car into park and pulled a pair of leather gloves over his long fingers before pushing open his door. A burst of cold air swept into the cab, carrying ribbons of Rey’s hair along with it as it swirled around her in blustery waves.

“You better bundle up, Starlight,” he chuckled, pushing a pair of black Ray-Bans up his long nose to battle against the blinding sun that reflected off the snow, “But don’t worry if you leave off a couple layers, I’ll warm you up properly in a few.”

Rey shivered and promptly pulled an ivory, knit beanie over her ears and bent down to tighten the laces on her snow boots before swinging open the door and stepping out into the snow. It crunched beneath her feet as she trudged through the thick layer of it along the driveway and pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders, reaching out to accept Ben’s proffered hand to pull her up to the covered porch. 

The door opened with a ding and the welcome warmth inside hugged every curve of Rey’s flushed cheeks. She rubbed her hands together in the toasty warmth while she took a quick glance around the quaint foyer, getting instantly drawn in by the sight of an orange ball of fur lying on the stairs. 

When she let out a quiet squeal of delight and bounded towards it, Ben let out a deep chuckle with a roll of his eyes.  
“Rey, leave the poor thing alone. You don’t need to pet every cute thing you meet.”

“I pet you, don’t I?” Rey teased as her voice changed to a baby like coo when she reached out and ran her fingers over the sleeping feline’s back. It opened its wide, blue eyes with a yawn, following the movement of Rey’s hand with a long stretch of its tail, “Ohhh, you sweet thing, I think I love you already.”

“Holy hell, that cat is round,” Ben sniggered with a lift of his dark brows.

“You hush, you don’t know if...what’s your name, sweet thing?” Rey hummed as she rubbed the white fur beneath the cat’s chin and looked for a tag on his collar, “Is it classified? Some big secret?”

“Bee-Bee, actually,” an amused voice called out from the doorway behind them.

Rey shot to her feet, and Ben spun around to take in the sight of the tiniest old woman they’d ever seen. The innkeeper ambled forward and walked past the pair of them to the desk Ben had been waiting at. She looked up at the man who towered over her and adjusted her comically large, coke bottle glasses with a musical jingle of the stacks of bracelets on her wrists.  
“I’m Maz Kanata, owner of this fine establishment. Can I help you, folks?”

“I, uh...yes,” Ben mused as he looked down at the tiny old woman, “We have a reservation under Kylo Ren.”

“Kylo Ren?” Maz’s white eyebrows raised high above the round frame of her glasses, “Somehow, I don’t think that’s quite true...Let me see here…”

Rey stepped up beside Ben as the old woman flipped through her reservation book and ran a knotty finger down the page to slowly tap the name written there.  
“Ah, there you are. It looks like you two are in the Ice House, an excellent choice,” Maz turned around and reached into a wooden cupboard lined with gleaming brass keys, took one from the hook, and deposited it into Ben’s broad palm with a sly smile, “Do enjoy your stay, Mr. Solo.”

Rey sucked in a quiet, panicked breath with a quick look at Ben, but the beating of heart slowed down from its panicked pace when she felt a warm hand clamp over hers.  
“Don’t worry, dear child. The secret is safe with me.”

Ben tangled his fingers with Rey’s with a nod and a smile at the old woman and quietly led Rey back out to the waiting car. 

Moments later, he pulled the black SUV around the back of the inn to a smaller, more secluded brick building. With her coat bundle tightly against her to fight against the chill, Rey followed Ben as he turned the key and pushed open the door. 

The room was delightfully cozy and already so wonderfully warm thanks to a blazing fire burning in a stone fireplace. Rey let her eyes wander over the furnishings, immediately feeling the urge to sit back and crack open a book in one of the wide, winged-back chairs, or curled up on the sofa and watch an old black and white movie with Ben. 

She followed her feet towards a wooden, spiral staircase in the corner, leaving Ben to run back out into the cold to retrieve their back from the car. One step at a time, Rey wound her way to the second floor, and let out a quiet sigh when she saw the dreamy, king-sized suite. 

Rey let her fingers linger against the gossamer, white fabric of the bedspread as she strode over to the wall of white-trimmed windows. An easy smile crept across her freckled face when she heard Ben’s heavy steps follow her up the wooden staircase and only had to wait a moment before she felt the heat from his body against her back.  
“Hey, Starlight.”

“Hi, yourself.”

“It’s freezing outside.”

“Is it? I hadn’t noticed.”

A breathy gasp tumbled from Rey’s lips when Ben stepped forward and curled his long fingers beneath the collar of her jacket, making contact with her skin with his frigid hands.   
“I think we could use with some...warming...up…” 

Rey leaned into his touch as he pulled the coat from her shoulders and placed molten kisses to her sumptuous skin as he tossed it haphazardly behind him. His hands roved down her front and coiled in the hem of her tee-shirt and let his mouth leave her flesh for only an instant as he tugged it over her head. 

Curling his arms around her waist, Ben sent her into a spin to face him as effortlessly as he could in the studio or on stage, stopping her abruptly to capture her mouth in a searing kiss. She helplessly whimpered against him as his tongue delved into her mouth, dancing with hers as easily as his body did with the rest of her. 

Rey wound her hands over the long lines of his sculpted shoulders, fisting the fabric of his thin, black tee in her hands to tear it from his back in one fell swoop. Ben shook the curtain of dark hair from his eyes with a grin, slowing sinking to his knees and leaving a trail of delectable kisses in his wake. 

Her fingers tangled in his raven hair, holding on for dear life as his mouth went further down...down...down, hovering for a moment beneath her navel. Each kiss sent an electrifying jolt down to her toes and sent a scorching heat furling out from her center in dizzying waves. 

Ben let out a deep groan as Rey raked her fingernails through his hair, throwing her head back when he wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her closer. His fingers dipped beneath the waistband of her leggings and grazed across the curve of her ass and pushed the black fabric down to the floor. 

His dark eyes wandered hungrily over every inch of her body, letting out a _whoosh_ of hot air past his plush lips with a whisper, “Fuck me. You had this under there this whole time?”

He tucked a single finger over the laughably thin, black lace of her lingerie, letting it wander across the fabric to hover over her center. A sly smile tugged at the corner of his lips when the mere presence of his hand there made Rey moan quietly and capture her bottom lip between her teeth.  
“Mmm, why do...why do you think I was so…damn...cold?”

“Christ.”

He leaned forward and palmed her ass with his impossibly large hands and tugged her towards him. Rey cried out and haphazardly gave his hair a tug when Ben pressed the tip of his nose against the paper-thin lace and ever so slowly circled the tiny bundle of nerves he found there. 

Rey let out a quiet whimper while Ben moved his hands across her bare flesh, winding his fingers around the black lace, and with a quick tug, obliterated the garment into nothing.  
“Hey! Those were new, you...you owe me a new pair.”

“That’s fine, I can afford it,” Ben growled, keeping his attention on the task at hand, silently reaching between her thighs to part them with the tips of his fingers. Rey squirmed, holding herself steady with her hands in his hair as he edged his fingers towards her sex and slowly delved inside.

She gasped at the sudden sensation, curling her toes into the plush carpet as Ben drew his hand away and back in, repeating the delicious motion a few more, leisurely times before sinking another finger inside with a deep growl,

“Fuck, you are so wet already...I love seeing how much you want me, Sweetheart,” 

“Oh, Gods...Ben...more...please…” Rey whimpered while he slowly curled his fingers inside her, teasing her with each minute movement.

“Be patient,” he crooned, tilting his gaze to meet hers from his comfortable perch on his knees where he was able to properly worship her. His dark eyes were nearly black, pupils blown wide by the heady trance they’d caught themselves up in, positively intoxicated by the feeling of her around him, and he had barely just begun, “I need to taste you first.”

Without any hesitation, Ben hungrily devoured her sex with his mouth, letting the salacious sounds that came out of her mouth spur him on further. Every second his tongue laved over her clit, trading off between slow, languorous circles to quick, little nips and sucks, Rey drew closer and closer to the edge. Every movement was like a warm, seductive coil wound snugly around her waist, pulling her slowly up the great mountain to where her orgasm waited at the peak. She followed the line, letting her sexual tether tow her along the edge, working tirelessly as her physical being threatened to give out beneath the building pressure. 

All at once, the dam gave way, and Rey’s breath hitched with a mournful gasp. She shuddered in short little bursts while Ben pushed her well past the line with the tiny flicks of his dexterous tongue. Floating somewhere along the ceiling, Rey smiled lazily while she lovingly carded her fingers through his silky-soft waves, letting out a quiet squeal when Ben bolted to his feet and carried her easily along with him.

He tossed her down on the bed with a grin, lifting his hands quickly, undoing the latch on his belt and toeing off his boots. In a series of impossibly fluid motions for someone so big, Ben stepped out of his trousers and reached down in his tiny, black, Versace underwear that Rey found impossibly attractive, and began to pull her boots from her feet one by one. 

Rey looked up at him through her lashes, breathing softly in the fading afternoon light. She smiled at him with a nibble on her lip, entirely entranced by the sight of him. He was illuminated like a Greek god who had come down from Mount Olympus, with his perfectly aquiline nose, the beautiful ridge of his brow, his exquisitely kissable lips, and the shape of his body - like it had been carved from a block of marble.

She watched him as he took a deep breath and pressed the seam of his mouth together, working his jaw back and forth with a slow shake of his head.  
“Goddamn. I am a lucky bastard.”

“That you are…” Rey gave him a slow, Cheshire cat smile, slowly lifting her hands to rest behind her head, “...and you think, you didn’t want me in your show…”

“Well…” he mused, slipping off his underwear foot by foot while he slowly sank down on his knee between her thighs. Slowly lowering his body against hers, Ben peppered her flushed, freckled face with a searing hiss, murmuring tantalizing whispers in between, “I’ll....admit...it...I...am a…fucking...idiot…” He left a lingering kiss on her mouth, leisurely running his tongue along with hers for a moment before slowly pulling away, “I’m sorry about that first day. I was an ass.” 

“You were, that’s true,” Rey hummed, winding her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her and meet him with a sensuous kiss of her own, “Let the past die. I don’t need you to remind me of things that I’d rather forget. It doesn’t count. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to convince me. We have something so good here..let’s just...be. Just you and me. All that we need to be is...us.”

Reaching between them with a sigh, Rey palmed his length, grasping the shaft to line it up perfectly with her entrance. Ben groaned loudly as she leisurely grazed her soaked folds, letting out the softest whimper to mingle with his. He slowly rolled his hips forward with a hiss and a low gasp as he sheathed himself to the hilt inside her. 

Ben devoured the moan that fell from Rey’s lips completely unbidden, laving his tongue languidly with hers, savoring the feeling of her pussy hugging every inch of his considerable length. Slowly, he pulled away before sinking back in again, increasing his pace at one tortuous thrust at a time. It was nothing like the first time - a flare of furious passion that had burst at the seams, igniting the burning desire inside them both, and the scorching blaze was over just as quickly. It was gentle and dreamy and filled with so much more than a blaze of furious lust.

Eager for more, Rey rolled her hips against him, increasing the pace of her kisses as she met him thrust for thrust, crying out against the mole-speckled flesh at his shoulder. Ben’s mouth roved down her jaw to explore the soft flesh in the curve where her shoulder met her neck, playfully nipping at the soft layer of freckles he found there. 

Rey felt the heat curling up deep inside her, blazing so brightly that it stretched out towards the ends of her limbs as that line tugged her over the edge. She trembled against Ben as he met here there, letting out a deep groan as he rolled into her a few more, slow times, with a shiver. 

She carded her fingers through his inky hair, cupping his head in her palms to pull him down for a breathless kiss, hoping that it sent every thought and feeling across the line at that moment where she found herself without any words but the most important three that she whispered against the seam of his mouth. 

“I love you.”

A lazy grin spread across Rey’s softly freckled features as she nestled her cheek against the broad plain of smooth muscle she was snuggled against. Wound together like a sailor’s knot, Rey was practically glowing in the warmth of their shared afterglow. She reached up with her long fingers and split the delicate strands of the morning light that filtered in soft, yellow beams through the wall of windows at the foot of the bed. 

They had spent the better part of their night wound together like vines on a tree before falling into a tranquil sleep for a few hours before losing themselves to that burning desire all over again when they woke. 

Rey traced her fingers up the smooth expanse of Ben’s chest with a quiet hum, “So…”

“Yeah?”

“Got any plans up in that brilliant brain, Maestro?”

“I might have a few.”

“Does it involve more of...this?” she murmured with a tilt of her head to place a featherlight kiss on his plush mouth. With a growl, Ben circled his arms around her waist and flipped her back to the mattress. A girlish giggle tumbled past her lips with a grin. He looked down at her with a sigh, letting his dark eyes rove over her body for a moment before pulling away.

“Food first. I need to replenish what’s been spent, Sweetheart.”

“Okay,” Rey pouted as she sat up in bed and tucked the sheet around her chest with a tug, motioning for the breakfast tray that had been dropped off earlier, but had been quickly forgotten for their morning’s festivities, “So, we carb load...and then?”

Reaching down to the tray Ben brought over to the bed, Rey snagged a piece of toast from the assortment of breakfast foods, tearing a bit off with a facetious grin as she watched her lover tug on a pair of sleep pants.

“Actually, hmm…” he paused for a moment, lifting a pamphlet from a table to look inside, “Well, would you look at that?”

“What is it?”

Ben looked up at her with a glint in his eye and the signature Solo-smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth, holding up the pamphlet as his smile grew wider.

“We could get married.”

Rey coughed into her coffee, spluttering as she wiped it away, “We…._what_?” 

“Don’t get excited, Princess,” Ben chortled with a wide grin, “I was only joking...the inn has an elopement package. I wish you could see the look on your face…”

“That was mean…”

“Come on, Sweetheart...you won’t even go out in public with me, why on earth would I think you’d say yes to getting married to me? Honestly, I am a little hurt...do you really think I’d ask you like that? A proposal is something that requires a little...flair.”

“You’ve got flair in spades, Solo, that’s for sure,” Rey giggled with a bite of a piece of cold sausage, fully recovered from her shock moments before, “And...it won’t be forever, just me and you...I’m just...not ready to share it with the world yet. I just want to be me and you...that’s all we need to be for me...for now, at least.”

Ben strode forward and sat down on the bed beside her, reaching out to tuck a ribbon of her chestnut hair behind her ear.

“How about a test run, Starlight? A small town in rural Vermont doesn’t seem like a likely place that the paparazzi would hide out…”

“What if someone followed us?”

“Rey…”

“It’s possible! You’re lucky, you hide out in your theater and in the studio, and no one stalks you with their cell phone out, looking to make a buck…”

“I get it, I do…” Ben pressed, “It wasn’t always that way for me...growing up with my parents, it wasn’t easy. Why do you think I hid out at Julliard for so long and fought so hard against being like them? You’re not alone. You’re with me. It’ll be okay.”

“And if it’s not?”

“Then we’ll do that together, too.”

After breakfast and a hot shower, Rey found herself bundled up as much as she could stand, stepping out onto a cobblestone sidewalk from the black Range Rover on the quaint main street that was only a few miles away from the inn. When her eyes darted around to do a quick scan of the area, Ben clamped his leather glove-clad hand around hers and gave her a reassuring squeeze.  
“It’s gonna be fine.”

“I don’t know, Ben…I got a bad feeling about this…”

He offered her another smile before bending down to press a quick kiss to her lips, “Just breathe. Don’t think about it. Be here with me…”

Rey tried to relax and stop looking over her shoulder, she really did. She knew she could handle it on her own. Rey was always more of a lone wolf, and it was easy to keep them at bay or ignore them and walk away when it was just her....but the need to stay in their lovely little bubble all alone was so overwhelmingly precious to her...something she wanted to protect.

They walked hand in hand down the line of shops of the picture-perfect, snow-lined street. Ben placed a kiss on her hair as they stepped over the threshold of the first shop, and it was right then that Rey decided that it was time to let go and live. Be in the moment with him.

They meandered from store to store, smelling handmade soaps, and tasting local delicacies. Rey never thought she’d ever try snow-frozen maple syrup on a stick, but there was a first time for everything. 

As the time ticked by, Rey allowed her anxiety to release its tight hold on her and began to lose herself in the normalcy of the moments she was spending with Ben. The village felt a little warmer than their country inn, but maybe it had more to do with the company as they strode side by side, casually sipping at a steaming cup of coffee as they stepped down the brick sidewalk.

Rey let out a quiet hum as she let the drink warm her from the inside out, smiling up at Ben when he tugged her to a stop at the end of the block. He reached down and cupped the curve of her jaw with his hand and tilted her face up to meet his. With the slow press of his lips against hers and the quiet “I love you” he murmured against them, Rey’s heart swelled, letting herself finally give up on her fears when the unmistakable click of a camera shutter echoed out into the winter wind. 

Rey’s eyes darted across the street to a man in a black ski cap standing behind a car.

“Ben,” she whispered, her anxiety instantly taking hold all over again, “Look.”

His dark eyes looked to where her panicked gazed carried him and gave her hand a quick tug.  
“It’s nothing. Just one asshole. He’s probably some amateur who’s looking for his fifteen minutes. Don’t let him bother you, Starlight.”

Her head swiveled around as Ben pulled her across the street and into the next little shop. It was sweet, how Ben tried to distract her by showing her the selection of American made flannels that were inside. She wanted to keep herself focused on the exquisite man in front of her, especially when he started taking off the layers of his clothes to pull on a shirt that looked so good, it was almost unfair.

Rey let out a soft sigh and shrugged. He was right. It was just one guy. One. What kind of damage would he do? So what if he saw them? That’s what her PR team was for…

She stepped forward and splayed her fingers out across his broad chest, trailing her fingertip over the cozy pattern.  
“You should see if they have it in black and red…”

“Oh, should I?”

“Mmm...they suit you more than this blue does.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Sweetheart,” Ben grinned down at her with a waggle of his eyebrows and left a soft kiss on her lips, “Wanna be extra adorable and get matching shirts?”

“If you say so, Cupcake,” Rey laughed, shrugging her jacket from her shoulders as she tried her best to ignore the photographer across the street. Just one asshole. Just one.

Just one asshole that miraculously split into two by the time they stepped out of the shop forty-five minutes later with a bundle of fresh flannel in hand. If they weren’t sure that is was the paparazzi...Rey was now.

“Keep moving,” Ben growled, “Don’t pay them any mind. Don’t give them what they want.”

“I’m trying...can we...can we just go? I want to go…” Rey pleaded, squeezing his hand as she blinked back the anxious tears the budded on her eyelashes. He kept his dark eyes trained on the sidewalk in front of them and pulled her hand to his mouth to place a comforting kiss in her palm as he tugged her into a restaurant. 

The world was suddenly still inside the breezeway without the blustery winter wind and the snap of the pair of cameras that had been trained on them outside. All the reasons not to do this...all the reasons to run came flooding into Rey’s mind, like her body and the photogs outside had sent out a blanket invitation. The soft panic pulled at her senses and make her heart beat wildly in her chest. She scrubbed her face with her hands, letting out a muffled murmur into her palms,  
“Oh, this is not good. This is bad.”  
Rey felt the warmth of Ben’s touch on her hands, stilling them and covering her in a blanket of calm...even if it was only for a moment.

“Rey, stop. Listen to me. It’s gonna be fine. It can still be a secret if you want it to be. Remember that time that you were photographed with whatshisface from the Vindicator movies? We can spin it like that. People believed forever you were together and you weren’t, why can’t two friends spend some time together?”

Rey raised a skeptical eyebrow with an anxious laugh, “You mean that you take all your friends on a romantic trip to secluded Vermont?”

“You know what I mean...what I mean...is...fuck…”

“Keep going, Sparky, you’re on a roll.”

“What I’m saying, is...paps or not...what’s the crime if our pictures end up in the paper? It doesn’t prove anything. We still have our bubble. Just you and me. Just us.”

He curled his fingers beneath her chin and tilted her face to meet his for a desperate kiss. When he pulled away, his honeyed-bourbon eyes searched hers, looking for any sign that she was about to bolt, and silently pleading with her to stay.

“You’re right,” Rey whispered with a small, reluctant smile, “Dinner...and then can we go back to the inn, please?”

“Yes, dinner. Carb loading is good for what I have planned later…”

The smile spread across her freckled face as Ben winked at her and pulled open the door to the restaurant. Inside the dim dining room, the noise of her anxiety was dulled by the quiet din of the other patrons with the clink and clanks of silverware against porcelain.

It was so much easier when it was just the two of them. Rey reveled in the ease of it as they shared a family-sized portion of spaghetti and meatballs and she breathlessly hung on his every word while he told the story of how he stole his father’s precious Dodge Falcon and took for a spin down a country road.

“How old were you?” Rey laughed into her third glass of red wine, her mind happily fuzzy from the effects of it.

“Fourteen.”

“Is that all?”

“Ha, yeah. You should have seen his face when he came home and saw the gash I put in the side of it when I sideswiped a tree.”

“Shit!”

“Yeah. I was...pissed. He was gone on location all the time and my mom...well, you know how busy someone on Broadway is. So, it was just me a lot of the time.”

“You’re not alone anymore,” Rey smiled, looking down at her plate to poke at was left of her tiramisu on her cocoa powder-dusted plate.”

“You bout ready to head back, Starlight?”

“I’m ready to go home, yeah,” she sighed, “I miss our ivory tower. This is...this is a lot...I love being away with you, I just wish we had more time.” 

“I know...you’re right. Let’s go.”

Ben pushed back his chair and stood up, reaching for Rey across the table with that lopsided, reassuring smile. Rey accepted the coat he held out for her and shrugged on his own before taking her hand, offering a quick kiss before they stepped back out onto the sidewalk.

Like a gremlin fed after midnight, the two photographers had turned into five, and the pair of them instantly found themselves blinded by the bright flashes and the sound of camera shutters.

Rey lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the onslaught as Ben curled his arm around her waist to shove her behind him, and out of their view. The sound of her name being shouted over and over rang in her ears while they pushed past the lot of them and dashed down the sidewalk.

Making the mistake of looking back over her shoulder, Rey blinked in the garish flashes of light, letting out a cry when she saw they were relentlessly pursuing them.

_“Rey! Who’s your friend!”_

_“Ms. Jackson, how long are you staying in Vermont?”_

_“When did you start dating!”_

_“Can you confirm that you are seeing your director?”_

The louder they shouted, the faster Rey wanted to run, slipping on the icy sidewalks as she and Ben tried to make it to their car as quickly as possible. They turned a corner and were instantly bombarded with more photographers.  
_”Ms. Jackson, can we get a picture!”_

Rey lifted her hand against the flashes and pressed in closer to Ben’s back, pleading with them to stop, “Give us some space, please.”

_”How did you guys meet?”_

_“Is the chemistry as good off-stage as it is on?”_

They pushed forward, and Rey let out a deep sigh of relief when the black Range Rover came into view.  
“Leave us alone, please! Just go!”

As the photographers continued to chase after them, Rey could feel the fury rolling off of Ben in sharp waves as he darkly charged forward and stuck a fuming finger in the face of one of the paparazzo.  
“Get the fuck out of our way, or so help me, I will break you.”

_“Ben, do you sleep with all your stars or is Rey a special case?”_

_“Rey, did you have to do anything special to get the part?”_

It all happened in an instant. Rey wasn’t sure if it was the blinding flashbulbs that flickered relentlessly with the sound of the shutters or the dizzying anxiety that overwhelmed her, but suddenly her world tilted when one of the photographers pushed in unexpectedly and aggressively. Her feet slipped on the ice out from under her in a heartbeat, sending her to the ground with a thud and a splitting pain in her arm. 

The instant her hand was gone from his grip, Rey saw Ben’s dark eyes flicker towards hers for a millisecond, filled with a burning rage before he twisted around and connected his fist with the jaw of the paparazzo who got too close. 

*

Ben flinched as the stack of tabloid magazines hit the mahogany desk with a loud thud. He fiddled with the white tape that hugged the curve of his bruised knuckles. Amilyn Holdo stood with her hands on her narrow hips as Moden Canady loomed from the corner of the cozy office.

Like a child sitting in the principal’s office, Ben looked up at her with a grimace that had double the sting with the deep split down his bottom lip. They stared at each other for a beat before Holdo broke the silence.

“Do you know how much money you’ve cost me, Bennett?”

“I don’t have any receipts if that’s what you’re asking.”

“_Two_ canceled performances. _Both_ of our stars hurt. Bail money...and a fucking settlement for that photographer you beat to hell,” Amilyn fumed.

“I’ll pay you back, I’m good for it….and the fucker deserved it.”

“I don’t give a shit if he deserved it-” 

“He was harassing us!”

“It doesn’t matter, you hit him first…”

“Rey was hurt, and I…”

“You were an idiot, is what,” Moden growled from the corner, “The amount of trouble you’ve caused...it’s going to be a miracle if we can keep this show open for much longer.”

“The show will be fine. It was doing better than ever with Rey and I…”

“...not anymore it’s not,” Holdo stated, elegantly sitting down in her leather chair, lifting up one of the tabloids from the stack. On its cover was a damning photograph of Ben taking a wild swing at one of the photographers and a wide-eyed Rey on the sidewalk behind him. Bright yellow letters were emblazoned in the corner, reading:

_Solo No More: Hollywood Royalty Spotted with America’s British Sweetheart_

“So. What now?”

“What now is….” Holdo leaned back in her chair with an exasperated sigh before returning her sharp blue gaze back at him, “You’re grounded.”

“Excuse me?” a confused chuckle erupted from deep inside his chest with a lift of his dark brows, “You’re acting like I”m twelve.”

“Then don’t act like it,” Canady gruffed from behind his partner.

“What we are trying to say, Ben, is...Armitage will be taking over the role he was originally cast in. Signed to a contract. And you will go back to doing what you do best.”

“Being the asshole in the corner?”

Amilyn pursed her lips and folded her hands on the luxurious desk in front of her, “Directing. You’ve built a beautiful show, that part is true. We have a great backup for Rey while she heals. Her contract is up, so she is free to extend if she likes, or move on.” 

“M-move on? What, did you talk to her or something?” Ben felt a sudden surge of panic bubble up from deep in his gut, and he found himself suddenly a little breathless, “What the hell did you do?”

“Not a damn thing, lover boy,” Hoden barked.

“We did speak with Rey, yes. She arrived here before you did...since you left her alone in Vermont, and all that.”

“Not on purpose.”

“Defending her honor, or not...you made a mistake. You got yourself arrested. She got here first. I didn’t write the contract. It’s been up for a while, and it’s up to her if she wants to continue or not. We, of course, want to keep her. So...while you’re now relocated backstage, _which is your job_, it’s up to you to make up for whatever happened between you and fix what’s been broken.” 

“Who says anything is broken?”

Amilyn tilted her head to the side and gave him a sad, knowing smile, “Men really are clueless, sometimes, I swear. Get out of here. Go kiss and make up, or whatever you’ve gotta do.”

With a wince, Ben pressed down with his palms to his knees and stood up, offering up a nod and a professional handshake to each of the producers before turning on his heel to walk out the office door. 

He strode to the elevator in a flash, fishing his cell phone out of his pocket to punch in a quick text to Kaydel to see where Rey was. 

They hadn’t seen each other for days, since the...incident…It felt like a split second since he felt Rey slip away from his grasp, and the next, his vision went red, and he found himself sitting, handcuffed on the curb with a bloody lip and sprained knuckles.

The next day, when he groggily emerged back into daylight from the county jail with a set of keys that had been handed to him by the guard who out processed him, the black Range Rover was parked outside with no Rey in sight.

He drove back down to the quiet little inn where they had stayed and was met by a stern-faced Maz who informed him that Rey had come by the evening before, called for a car, and went back to the city. The old woman bandaged up his fingers and sent him on his way with his luggage with a disappointed shake of her head and a piece of advice.  
“Give her time, boy. Give her space. All will be well, eventually.”

Ben pondered those words as he walked the two blocks Downtown to the 42nd Street Studio where Kaydel said Rey would be. Part of him wondered what the old lady was talking about...wondering to himself if he had given her enough space in the days since their delectable bubble was forcefully burst. 

He pulled open the doors and stepped into the welcoming warmth of the lobby and up to the bank of elevators. They took what felt like longer than usual to haul him to the tenth floor as he silently urged the floors to tick by a little faster.

The hallways were dark and quieter than they normally would during tech rehearsals for the show, but a quick glance at his watch told him that everyone in _GATSBY!_ would already be at the Gershwin for the night. 

Ben could hear the faint lull of music coming from one of the studios...their studio...and quietly stepped up to peer in the window.

There she was, as elegant as ever, stepping into a slow spin before, reaching out with the tips of her fingers in the fading afternoon light that seeped in through the wall of windows. She leaped into a lunge, stopping abruptly with a grimace to stretch her leg out to the tip of her toes. His stomach dropped when Rey rolled her shoulders back and he spied the black brace on her wrist. 

He quietly stepped forward and slowly pulled open the door, toeing off his boots as silently as he could before stepping towards her to join her, like he had done so many times before.

Ben reached out to curl his arms around her waist and lovingly nestle his nose against the supple flesh at her throat, but Rey instantly stiffened beneath his touch and stepped away. 

“Rey…” he reached for her again but was met with a dark look that burned in her hazel eyes. She held up a hand to stop him from speaking any further, stepping across the studio to her bag and quickly started to pull her clothes on over her meager rehearsal clothes. Ben tried to be patient as he watched her, but couldn’t help himself when he took a step towards her and began to plead with her, “Rey, listen…”

“Ben, stop,” Rey said abruptly, “Don’t.”

“I want to explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain.”

“You’re mad.”

Rey breathed out an exasperated sigh and closed her eyes in frustration, “Of course I am mad. You left me.”

“I didn’t mean to...that photog…”

“_I told you._ I fucking you that it was a bad idea....you couldn’t listen to me, you stubborn….”

“Rey…”

“You’ve really lived up to that bad boy director name you’ve made for yourself, haven’t you?”

Ben stared at her, silently pleading with her with his dark eyes, letting her continue.

“What was so wrong with having it be just us? Just you and me...and let it come out when _we_ were ready?”

Ben shrugged, “It...it wasn’t as big of a deal to me...I’m sorry.”

“It should have been because it was a big deal for me. _Christ_…” Rey murmured, reaching up to dash the silvery tears that slipped over her lashes, “We were so good together, Ben. We were so good and you…”

“I fucking ruined it, didn’t I?” Ben breathed as his own chin began to quiver. He mashed his lips together to try and quell his emotions...to keep them at bay for just a little while longer. 

They stood there silently for a moment, neither looking at the other while the music still quietly played in the corner, accompanied by their quiet sniffles.

“So,” Ben broke first, speaking quietly into the dimming light of the wide-open studio.

“So,” Rey echoed, her voice sounding so much further away than just across the room.

“What happens now? What do we do?”

“Work. Like normal.”

“Not like normal, Starlight. I’ve basically been fired.”

“They’ve sacked you?”

“Figuratively.”

“...so you won’t be Jay, anymore?” Rey mused quietly, reaching up to coil a stray ribbon of her hair absentmindedly around her finger.

“No Jay,” Ben answered, taking a minuscule step towards her, “...I’ll still be around. I’ll come by your place, like normal.”

“I...I’m not so sure if you...if you should,” Rey whispered. 

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means...I think that I could use a little bit of space.”

“Space?”

“Yes.”

“For how long?”

“...I don’t know.” 

“Fuck, Rey...wasn’t it you who said to let the past die? What’s different now?”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment as hot tears trailed shining tracks down her freckled cheeks.

“Plenty,” Rey stepped forward and collected her bag from the floor and slung it over her shoulder, letting out a soft sob as she stared at her feet before stepped away, towards the door.

Desperate to keep her there...to stay in her presence a little while longer, Ben’s broken voice called out after her as she reached for the door.

“I love you, Rey. Please…”

Rey stopped with her fingers curled around the door handle, and Ben thought for a second that she was about to let it go and turn back to him so that they could fall into each other’s arms and forget everything that had happened. He stood there waiting for what felt like forever, breathless with anticipation as she slowly turned her face towards him.

He had hoped for a change of heart but felt his sink when their eyes met, and she whispered out a forlorn, “_I know_.”

*

The chime of her cellphone blaring into the darkness yanked Rey abruptly from her sleep. With a groan, she rolled over towards her bedside table and flipped on the soft glow of the lamp and let out a sigh when she saw the time.

_4:02_

“Christ…” she murmured sleepily, wiping the sleep from her eyes with a grimace as she looked at the screen of her cell, wondering who in the hell would be calling so early. With a groggy swipe of her thumb, Rey accepted the call and held the device up to her ear, “H-hello?”

“Rey darling, I am so sorry to wake you at this hour, but I have wonderful news!”

With a huff, Rey flopped back onto her pillows at the familiar, crisp, British accent of her manager on the other line.

“What’s up, Gwen?”

“They’ve just announced them...you’ve been nominated for a Tony, darling!”

“I...what?”

“A Tony! Can you believe it! Best Actress in a Musical! I am so proud of you, Sweetheart!”

_Sweetheart._

Rey smiled to herself for a split second at the term of endearment, reaching out to the bed beside her to trail her fingers across the empty spot beside her, murmuring a soft, “Thanks, Phas. I appreciate it. Anyone else get nominated?”

“You. Rose. Finn. The show was nominated for best musical!”

“...and Ben?”

“Best Direction of a Musical...and Best Actor in a Musical.”

Rey let out a long breath into the darkness of her bedroom and laid her arm over her eyes.

“That’s...that’s wonderful. I’m really happy for him.”

“You were perfect together...on stage, I-I mean.”

Rey stayed quiet for a moment, letting her mind drift back to the feeling of his arms wrapped around her as they lost themselves in their dance the very first time, back before everything else.

“If that’s all, I think I’m going to head back to bed.”

“You go on ahead, Sweets. I’ll be here planning everything for June.”

“Thanks, Phas. I appreciate it.”

“Night, night, darling. Talk soon.”

Rey snuggled deeper beneath the covers and tried as hard as she could to go back to sleep, but her thoughts ran rampant, cycling back through her memories of him over and over until her alarm blared at 5 am.

She tore herself from her bed and quickly dressed, heading down the hall to her treadmill to get in a quick run before showering and dressing in a comfortable pair of leggings for the ride to work.

Bounding down the stairs, Rey slung her bag over her shoulder and stepped outside into the early morning light with a yawn, tilting her head back to let the delicate strands of sunshine that shone down through the long leaves of the palm trees touch the curve of her face. 

It wasn’t long before the black Cadillac pulled into the driveway and without hesitation, Rey pulled open the door and slid into the plush backseat with a smile at her driver.

“Good morning, Ms. Jackson. Off to the studio, like usual?”

“Please, thanks Mark.”

“My pleasure, as always, Ms. Jackson. It’s a gorgeous morning here in Los Angeles, don’t you think?”

A wistful smile broke across her freckled features as she watched her home shrink away behind them.

“It is...but it doesn’t compare to a rooftop sunrise in New York City.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I promise I will fix it!!!


	6. The Beginning and End of Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They’re all going to be talking about you, you know,” Rose stated from the corner, freshly zipped up into her own, pale blue gown.
> 
> “How do you mean? You mean, more than usual?” Rey giggled as she slipped on a selection of silver rings that D’Acy had set out for her before reaching up to press her palm against the elegant knot at the nape of her neck.
> 
> “Well, first of all, I am pretty sure that your legs are going to have their own hashtag on Twitter tonight...and probably until the end of the week.”
> 
> Rey struck a serious pose in her gown before bursting into a fit of giggles with her friends, giving her knees a shake through the sheer panel of the underskirt, before Rose’s smile melted away and she gave her friend a pointed look.
> 
> “You’ll have to see him, you know.”
> 
> “Yeah,” Rey breathed as she anxiously fiddled with the delicate silver bands around her fingers.
> 
> “...and they’re going to see you seeing him.”
> 
> “I know.”
> 
> “Cameras, and such. Kinda what this whole movie star thing is all about, babes. Don’t you ever think that...no matter how much of a pain it is, you just gotta suck it up and deal?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT.  
THE LAST CHAPTER.  
Semperfidani, my love, THANK YOU for this amazing prompt. Throw more at me in the future, pleeeease???   
I made a playlist! [Take a listen!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6DTVkMeuKLQBXOVjfMRym1?si=4lAUkb-cQSCEWVObPmBl2A)
> 
> [come say hey on Twitter!](twitter.com/kaybohls) I would love to chat it up with you and geek out over Star Wars!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48749904827/in/dateposted/)

Rey was focused. She was sure. 

Standing at the top of a towering ledge, Rey took a deep breath as the wind picked up and began to whip her hair in waves around her face. She closed her eyes for a moment and centered herself in the feeling of pure energy and power coursing through her veins. When she opened her eyes again, the hazel gleamed with the exhilarating energy as she gave a tiny nod and, without a second thought, leaped into oblivion. 

With her palms pressed towards the ground, Rey remained fiercely vigilant as she slowed her powerful plummet and elegantly placed her boots on the ground. She was barely allowed a moment to react before an abrupt explosion rocked the dirt beneath her feet. 

Shielding her eyes from the sheets of debris that peppered her blue and silver armor, Rey took off running at a breakneck pace. Another series of explosions at her back sent more fragments flying around her, but Rey didn’t let them falter her course at her boots pounded the earth beneath her, putting as much space between her at them as she could. 

A blinding flash erupted to her left, and Rey staggered for a moment, shielding her eyes when the memory of a wall of cameras in the cold flickered through her mind. With a furious roar, she shoved the thought aside and leaped into the air, extending her fists out in front of her to carry her higher and higher until…

“Cut!”

With a huff of hot air, Rey blew her hair out of her eyes and leaned back against the wires that were firmly attached to the rig around her waist, letting gravity carry her into a slow somersault with a smile against the green screen. She knew she probably fucked up the take, but couldn’t help but enjoy the ease she felt when she submerged herself in the strenuous day today that all the stunts involved. They took every ounce of concentration and focus...no thinking allowed.

Except that she did. And they likely had to do a full reset because of it. 

“You alright up there, Rey?” her director, Rian Abrahms called up to her through a microphone. 

“I’m good!” she tossed out a thumbs-up as she twisted her body back around to right side up, “Mind if I come back to earth while we reset?”

“JJ, bring Starlight on down, let’s all take twenty and then reset, yeah?”

Rey patiently waited while the stunt team brought her back down to earth and unhooked her from the rig. Rian strode over and patted her on the shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze as she walked over to her chair with the words, _Rey Jackson: Captain Starlight in Vindicators 3: Age of Odin_ emblazoned across it.  
“Don’t worry about what happened, I’m sure most of it is usable, I just want a couple more in the docket before we wrap this scene. Think you’re up for it?”

“Definitely,” Rey smiled, cracking open a bottle of water and taking a slow sip as the makeup team hurried over.

She sat back in her seat and closed her eyes as her makeup artist touched up the bits of ash and bruises at her temple so she would be ready for the next shot, pulling her cell phone out to take a quick flip through the slew of notifications she’d received since she got the call about her Tony nomination earlier that morning. A third of the way down was one from her assistant.

_  
ATW and TBL want to book you for a meet the press event for the Tonys early next week. I wanted to talk to you before hooking up with Phasma to book anything. What do you want us to tell them?_

Rey let out a quiet sigh at the thought of hopping on a six-hour flight to attend a luncheon and sitting through an entire day of interviews. She’d done plenty of junkets and events before, but she wasn’t sure that the nearly three months it had been since she left New York was enough time to spend the day talking about her experience of becoming Daisy Buchanan and what it meant to her...when in truth, it had meant everything - she just wasn’t ready to talk about it...or see him. 

With a swipe of her thumb and a quick glance over the sprawling movie studio, Rey opened up the messages app and began to type away at her reply.

_  
Tell them that there just isn’t room in my shooting schedule at the moment. Send my regrets, but I will go to the ceremony._

She watched the tiny _“read”_ pop up at the bottom of her text with the timestamp and a subsequent little bubble with a trio of flashing dots as Kaydel responded.

_  
Okay, great. I will go ahead and set something up in your existing schedule with D’Acy for gown fittings. I am almost positive that she’s already had some designers lined up for you._

“Ms. Jackson?” 

Rey lifted her eyes towards the voice and make eye contact with a PA who was carrying a mammoth floral arrangement in her arms. Her breath caught in her throat as soon as she saw the collection of blooms, knowing instantly who the lavender roses were from.

“Y-yes?”

“I have a delivery for you from a…” she looked down at the order form in her free hand, “Mister Solo? Do you want me to put them in your trailer?”

With trembling fingers, Rey reached out and plucked a small, white envelope that had been lovingly tucked in the center.

“Just...hold on one second,” she murmured, curling her fingertips around a single blossom, tugging it free of the arrangement in one, single motion, “There we go. That would be wonderful, thank you.”

She held the rose to her nose and deeply inhaled its sweet scent, letting it carry her back in an instant to those eight shows a week when there would be a bloom just like this waiting for her on her dressing room table. Rey tucked her thumb beneath the point of the crisp, clean paper and flipped it open to pull out the small piece of cardstock inside. 

_You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known- and even that is an understatement._

_Congratulations on your nomination. You deserve it, Starlight._

_B._

A quiet gasp tumbled past her lips, and Rey blinked back the sting of fresh tears so the makeup team wouldn’t have to come to touch her up all over again. The ache in her heart was almost too much to bear while she read over Fitzgerald’s words over and over again.

She lifted her phone and opened the screen to take her back to her messages and started to type something out to Kaydel.

Tell D’Acy that I want something in lavender.*

*

The time went by rather quickly between the end of April and the first weekend in June. After a hundred fittings, magazine phone interviews, and photoshoots close to home, Rey finally found herself tucked into the heavenly soft interior of a small private jet in the early morning hours - happily watching the world go by beneath them. 

Shooting had been wrapped up at the studio just in time for Rey to fly off to New York City before her next gig and she was relieved to finally have a moment to herself to breathe…

Flying was easy for Rey. She’d done it so often at this point in her life that the jet nearly felt like a second home to her, and the moment she’d been in the right place in her career to charter her own was a blessing she’d never known that she needed - to have no prying eyes in the quiet moments while they hurtled across time zones. 

The constant hum of the engines inside the cabin relaxed her mind and instantly made her feel a little sleepy. She wiggled down into the ivory leather and put up her feet to let her eyes drift closed and let this bird carry her all the way home. 

When she opened her eyes again, Rey sat up and looked down at the earth miles below the small jet and saw that the shape of things had changed. They’d left the soaring blanket of hills and peaks behind in the west and, as they crossed the early afternoon skies, there was a patchwork quilt of green fields and clusters of small towns sprawled out as far as the eye could see...and in the distance - a skyline that Rey knew by heart. 

She hadn’t been back since late February when things had fallen apart with Ben, and with _GATSBY!_ It was only hours after she found out that he had been sacked from the titular role in the show...the only thing that held her like an anchor after her contractual obligation had ended...that Rey received a call from her manager, Phasma, that the producers for her next job as Captain Starlight had moved up the shooting schedule and she could start rehearsals right away. Rey took it as a sign right then that the universe was telling her that it was time to move on.

Except, it kept reminding her of all the things she was missing, little by little, like the raindrops of early springtime rain, and sometimes all at once, like a vicious title wave. 

Her heart thumped wildly in her chest when the thought of seeing him again for the first time crossed her mind when the last time had been that heartbreaking moment in the studio when he silently pleaded with her to stay...offering his words of love, only for her to push them away. 

She had been angry. Hurt. Part of her wanted to be grateful to him for defending her honor - for throwing the punch that was heard across all the tabloids and made the paparazzo scatter away like cockroaches on the New York City sidewalks…but the other part hung onto everything else that happened that night. 

The moment when she fell and lay broken on the sidewalk and Ben let his anger take control and give the photographers his attention instead of her. 

The moment when it escalated into a flurry of fists while Rey tearfully pleaded for him to stop. 

The moment earlier in the day when one photog had turned to two and Rey had begged him to let them leave.

The moment when she spotted one single photographer across the street and knew in an instant that their secret was going to be out, but Ben told her that everything was fine.

The moment when she wished to stay in their bubble for the rest of forever.

She wished that they could have stayed there a little longer and stay in the peaceful little home they’d made for themselves...and decide when the time was right instead of letting the world decide for them. 

It all happened so quickly. 

The bright white flashes of the cameras turned to the blinding red and blue of police cars that proceeded to haul Ben away in handcuffs while the paparazzi shamelessly took thousands of snaps from where a temporary barricade had been set up around them. 

They shared one last, devastating look while an officer pushed him down into the back of a squad car, and Rey knew then that things were about to change for them in a big way. 

She didn’t want to forgive him. Forgive him for doing what he did, no matter how honorable he may have believed it was at the time. She didn’t want to forgive him for leaving her there all alone in a small town where it was easy for the paparazzi to find her and swarm the lawn of Maz’s inn.

She didn’t expect to leave when she did. She didn’t expect to leave at all, but with each flash of a camera shutter as a black SUV pulled up in front of the quaint bed and breakfast and her bodyguard, Antoine stepped out into the snow, her resentment at the whole entire mess grew. She didn’t want it to happen how it did...she wanted to leave as happy as she had arrived there, hand in hand with Ben, instead of being shielded protectively by a bodyguard.

The thoughts twisted and raged inside her through the quiet drive back to Manhattan. Rey tried to push them away, to center herself in the sound of her music blaring in her ears, but the memory was wicked and relentless...so much louder than what could be drowned out. 

They followed her all the way to Los Angeles, and here Rey was...foolishly thinking that distance would quiet them. 

They did quiet, eventually, but not in the way that she expected. Her anger melted away into something altogether more heartbreaking and far more challenging to shake. 

He was there in the back of her mind, always...while she trained. While she did costume fittings and hair and makeup test. During rehearsals on set. During every scene, and her heart ached for him through it all.

His voice. His touch. His kiss.

Life had a funny way of fast-forwarding when you weren’t paying attention. Those moments when every day is an industrious blur, gone in a second before you even realized what had happened.

There was still snow on the ground in Central Park when she left, and the sunshine in Los Angeles never faded away, only causing the acceleration of time to move all the faster, and before Rey knew it...months had gone by and the only contact that had been shared between them was a bundle of lavender roses. 

The butterflies in her stomach started to reach an overwhelming peak once her car reached The Plaza Hotel. The sound of the city was exhilarating and overwhelming all at once, but most of all...it sounded like home. 

With Antoine by her side, Rey stepped out of the car and through the gilded doors of the famed hotel and stepped into the luxurious lobby. Having already been checked in by her team, Rey walked to the elevator bank to make her way upstairs to her suite. 

With a delicate chime, the elevator announced their arrival on the 17th floor, and Rey heard a loud squeal when the doors slide open. Her grin was instantaneous, and with open arms, she collided with her old pal, Rose Tico.

They chatted to themselves as the group walked down the hallway to Rey’s suite, discussing what the other had been up to in the months that had passed...Rose’s continued stint as Jordan Baker in _GATSBY!_ and Rey’s constant work in the franchise that made her a star. 

Rose’s dark eyes grew wide when they reached the end of the hallway, “Stars...They put you in the Fitzgerald suite? How fortuitous…”

Rey breathed out a sigh as her fingers curled around the door handle and pushed it open, letting her eyes rove over the gleaming, Art Deco of the incredible suite that had been dedicated to the famed author.

With only a few hours left until the red carpet photocall, the suite quickly became a flurry of activity. They set up home base in the sprawling living rooms that were decked out from floor to ceiling in a way that made it feel like they were smack dab in the middle of Jay Gatsby’s house in West Egg...a detail that wasn’t lost on Rey. 

It felt like old times with Rose there with her, chatting away while a glam squad went to work to prepare them for the red carpet. 

When Rey opened her eyes after she had been declared a “true masterpiece” by her hair and makeup team, she looked in the mirror with a press of her lips and a smile. Her skin was impossibly glowy and natural, a remarkable feat for how much stress she’d been under lately with the upcoming show and her shooting schedule, her eyes were made up with an understated grey that brought out the flecks of green in her hazel eyes, and her lips had been painted the deepest crimson. 

Moments later, with help from at least three other people, she had been expertly buttoned up in the gown she’d chosen for the evening. The fabric rustled delicately while she strode to a full-length mirror hanging on the wall, and she couldn’t help but smile at her reflection. 

D’Acy had completely outdone herself, securing the dress from a talented designer who’d made it just for her...and what a feeling that it gave her. 

Looking back at herself from her reflection, Rey felt like the epitome of graceful sophistication with a gown that truly illustrated incredible expertise in how fashion was art. 

The gown itself had been cut from the finest, sheer, polka-dotted lavender tulle and covered in delicately hand-sewn floral designs that were made up of the tiniest, shimmering glass beads, crystals, and exquisite embroidery. 

Cut to fit her like a glove, the silhouette fell close to her body, following the long line of her long legs with a plunging neckline that was trimmed with the finest, lavender lace, and was cinched at the waist with a velvet belt.

Made up of two pieces, the sheer underskirt was fitted around the curve of her hips to where it skimmed the floor, while the dramatic overskirt wrapped around the back in voluminous, lavender waves of embellished tulle and lace that caught the light at every single angle she turned.

The sheer tulle wrapped around her arms and down to her wrists, leaving nearly every inch of her painted in a delicate shade of lavender except for her plunging neckline and the open back that had only a crisscrossing velvet ribbon wrap her up like a showstopping gift. 

“They’re all going to be talking about you, you know,” Rose stated from the corner, freshly zipped up into her own, pale blue gown.

“How do you mean? You mean, more than usual?” Rey giggled as she slipped on a selection of silver rings that D’Acy had set out for her before reaching up to press her palm against the elegant knot at the nape of her neck.

“Well, first of all, I am pretty sure that your legs are going to have their own hashtag on Twitter tonight...and probably until the end of the week.”

Rey struck a serious pose in her gown before bursting into a fit of giggles with her friends, giving her knees a shake through the sheer panel of the underskirt, before Rose’s smile melted away and she gave her friend a pointed look.

“You’ll have to see him, you know.”

“Yeah,” Rey breathed as she anxiously fiddled with the delicate silver bands around her fingers.

“...and they’re going to see you seeing him.”

“I know.”

“Cameras, and such. Kinda what this whole movie star thing is all about, babes. Don’t you ever think that...no matter how much of a pain it is, you just gotta suck it up and deal?”

“It...it wasn’t just the cameras. They were terrible...I really hate that they follow me around and I can barely get a private moment sometimes. I can’t have lunch without someone taking my picture...let alone making it through the beginnings of a relationship...I couldn’t let them chase the potential love of my life away.”

Rose put her hands on her hips and gave Rey a pointed stare.

“Yeah...but they didn’t chase the potential love of your life away. You did.”

“That’s not fair…”

“That’s the truth, babe. You didn’t see him after you left. You didn’t see what it did to him.”

“What, was he an even bigger asshole?”

“That’s the thing, Rey...he wasn’t. He was...what’s another way to say ‘broken-hearted idiot who needs to pick up the phone’?”

“He never called.”

“Yeah, but neither did you...is that right?”

“I...it’s...it isn’t that simple…”

Rey paced around the room with her pale purple gown trailing after her as her heartbeat wildly in her chest. She had expected bubbly chit chat with her friend...she should have known that Rose was bound to drop a blunt truth bomb on her...but this was...more. 

She chewed her lip for a moment before looking up at her friend, her hazel eyes wide with unshed tears.  
“It was overwhelming and so new and I...I wasn’t ready to share us with the world yet.”

“Would you be ready now...if that day never happened?”

“I...I don’t know. Maybe...probably.”

Rose let out a soft sigh with a frown, “You’ll never get to find out now, will you?”

The two women stared at each other for a moment before the tense moment disapparated, and things went back to the natural ease they had moments before. Rey gathered up her skirt as they made their way towards the door and turned to Rose while they headed towards the lift.  
“I...thanks. I think I may have needed that.”

“You don’t say…” Rose muttered dryly, “You two really are...just...I want to beat both of you, you’re the biggest idiots on the planet. Please just...figure out a way to fix this and get married and have all the babies. Do it. For all of us...I beg you.”

Rey let out a lighthearted laugh, hooking her arm around Rose’s. “Let’s get through tonight, first...shall we?”

With their team assembled, the pair of them made their way down into the gleaming lobby of The Plaza Hotel and outside to the waiting black Escalade, and a short while later, they pulled up on 6th Avenue alongside Radio City Music Hall.

Rey looked out the darkened window up the length of the historical building as they waited in a long line of other cars, letting her eyes linger on the unmistakable chrome marquee and red neon lights. 

Her heart began to beat faster and faster as their car drew closer to the start of the press line, and every glimpse of a dark-haired man dressed in a tuxedo made it fervently skip a beat. 

When their turn arrived, Rey took in a great gulp of air before plastering a cool smile on her face as she reached out to accept a hand getting out of the car. 

The waiting crowd across the street erupted into a wild roar when she emerged onto the sprawling red carpet and got even louder when she reached up and offered a wave and a casually blown kiss to them all. 

Rose shouldered up beside her and joined her in a wave before capturing Rey’s hand to give her a gentle tug towards the press line.

“You ready?”

Rey closed her eyes for a moment to center herself before looking down the seemingly endless line of photographers.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

The friends tried to stick together for as long as they could before their respective managers tugged them apart for different photo ops and interviews before they could get inside the historical theater for the show. 

Rey kept her demeanor cool, calm and collected as she looked from lens to lens amongst the endless cacophony of camera shutters, flashes, and people calling out her name.

_Who are you wearing?_

_How are you enjoying your time back in New York City?_

_Did you have a speech planned?_

_What kind of projects do you have coming up?_

_Do you have anything you can share about the upcoming Vindicators movie?_

_What can you tell us about the Galaxy Wars rumors?_

Rey would smile coyly and give planned out answers she’d used a thousand times before to help tease and mislead the press...and help her stay within the lines of her NDA she’d signed with the movie studio. 

All the while the cameras were flashings and the hundreds of voices blanketed the sire around her, Rey never stopped scanning the area around her for him.

She rubbed elbows and kissed the cheeks of a slew of other actors as she made her way down the red carpet, getting an enthusiastic hug from Kristen Chenoweth and a respectful handshake from Sir Patrick Stewart. 

Rey should have wanted to gush...to geek out and lose her mind over meeting who she considered a legend, but found herself totally and completely overwhelmed by the words they said to her.

They’d seen the show. They loved her. That they deserved their nominations. That they’d not seen chemistry like theirs in ages…

Theirs. 

Suddenly, just over the shoulders of her favorite Star Trek captain...he was there. 

Ben loomed large over the span of the sprawling red carpet, towering over nearly everyone with a dark and brooding gaze as he spoke to a journalist for an interview. His beauty mark speckled face was impassive and almost sullen while he deadpanned a series of professional answers into a microphone.

Rey found herself glued to the spot, her eyes trained on him as the camera shutters continued to furiously click away. He looked...incredible. Regal, and princelike, she was sure that the sleek tuxedo he wore had to have been custom made to fit him the way it did. 

Even though he seemed to keep himself at the emotional distance that he was known for, Ben’s attention stayed with the interviewer, looking off down the block as he thought of answers that Rey was sure were both thoughtful and a little bit coy. 

She could have stood there seconds or years, it wouldn’t have mattered, she still would have been entranced by the movement of his mouth, the slight inward point of his long feet, and the way he anxiously and absentmindedly carded his long through his dark hair. 

The photographers continued to call out her name to bring her attention to their lens instead of the remarkable man a few steps away that held onto it so raptly. Another, more familiar voice called out her name to try and urge her further down the carpet...just loud enough that it caught Ben’s attention. 

A soft gasp tumbled from Rey’s deep crimson lips when his gaze instantly caught hers. He held it for a moment, and his eyes were utterly unreadable before he looked down with a polite smile and bid the journalist he had been speaking to goodbye. 

Ben turned his eyes back to a breathless Rey, wearing his signature scowl that didn’t seem to let up an ounce as he purposefully strode towards her.

Without a second thought, Rey curled her fingers in the delicate, lavender fabric and took a step towards him while the cameras went wild with flashes and clicks. 

The seconds passed by with a crawl, and each step was a mile until, finally, he was there and she was utterly speechless. He looked down at her with a completely unreadable look in his dark eyes, without even the smallest hint of a smile. 

They stared at each other for a moment, both of them waiting for the other to speak first, but Rey couldn’t find the words. There were so many things that Rey wanted to say to him...needed to say to him and all the memories of their time together and her regrets from their time apart came flooding in all at once. 

A hint of a smile curled up from the corner of Ben’s plush mouth while he stepped forward to be the first to burst the cone of silence they’d unintentionally built in the center of the cacophony on the red carpet. 

“Hey.”

Rey’s breath caught in her throat as Ben reached out and placed his warm hand on her waist, his grip was soft and oh so familiar. She couldn’t help but lean into his touch...just a little when he leaned down and brushed his lips alongside her cheek.

He pulled away with a quiet clearing of his throat, stuffing his hands into his pockets while the cameras continued to capture their photograph. 

His greeting was formal in a way that made her heart ache, and Rey answered him without taking a second to think.

“I am certainly glad to see you again.”

As soon as the words fell past her red lips, her cheeks were kissed by a rosy pink flush. Rey let out an embarrassed laugh as she looked down at her shoes.

“It’s good to see you too, Rey. You...you here with anyone?”

“No...well, yes,” Rey stammered, pushing down the rising lump in her throat from hearing Ben speak her name...she hadn’t realized how badly she wished she could listen to him call her Starlight, just once more. 

“Oh?” Ben pursed his lips, lifting his eyes over her head to see who she was talking about, “Is it one of the Chrises?”

“Ha, no. Rose, actually. We came together, but you know how these things are, we got separated pretty quickly.”

A tiny, hopeful smile bloomed on Rey’s face when she saw what might have been the tiniest bit of relief flicker across his stately features when he brought his eyes back to hers.

They stared at each other for a moment before the mix of camera clicks and voices came to a dull roar of people calling out their names. Ben looked down at her with the tiniest, playful glint in his eye.  
“Feel like giving these fuckers something to talk about?”

“Sure, why the hell not.”

Rey smiled up at him for a second and thought she may have found a hint of...something...there, but still found him impossibly unreadable, but wholeheartedly accepted the warmth of his hand around her waist. 

With a flick of her wrist, Rey flung out the voluminousNight skirt of her gown as she stepped up alongside Ben, and, together, they looked out over the sea of cameras - the picture of elegant sophistication. 

She felt at home there, even with the seemingly endless clicks and flashes...with him, they didn’t seem to matter as much as they did before. He held her securely, pulled firmly against his side as they looked from lens to lens with casually cool smiles upon their faces, and Rey was desperate to make the moment last just a little bit longer.

“You look great. I...I meant what I said...I wasn’t trying to be Daisy, you know.”

“I do...and thanks,” Ben stated nonchalantly. She couldn’t help the quiet gasp that fell from her lips when, for a split second as she looked out over the red carpet, Ben’s mouth brushed the curve of her ear, “You look incredible.”

The moment was over just as quickly as it began, and when it seemed like there had more than their fill, Ben released his grip on her waist and stepped away. Their eyes met one last time before they went their separate ways. He caught her hand in his own, and just like he had during the curtain call eight nights a week, Ben lifted Rey’s hand to his lips and placed a kiss against her knuckles that would linger in her memory with all the rest of them.

With a quick nod, Ben stated a curt, “Good luck in there,” before stepping around her and striding down the rest of the red carpet without stopping. 

Rey stood as still as a statue as she watched him walk away and in an instant, her head was swimming with icy swirls of regret that washed over her like long, slow waves on a shallow beach. In her heart, she wished that she could take it all back, retract the things she’d said, stay just a little while longer, or pick up the damn phone. She’d lost sight of them in the blindness the flashes of the camera caused her when she should have held onto him like an anchor.

She wasn’t sure that, even now, if she’d deserve another chance...a single moment to tell him that she was sorry...that she didn’t mean to break his heart...she wished she could choose a different path, but there was no way back now. All she could do was listen to her own words. Let the past die and move forward beyond what had happened before. 

The cameras continued to snap picture after picture, and Rey was sure that there would be a thousand fires for her publicist to put out tomorrow. She let her eyes wander slowly over each lens, her delicate, lavender skirt clutched tightly in her grip - lost in the sea of endless flashes until a voice tugged her from her daze.

“Come on, Sweets, we need to get you to your seat, the show is about to start.”

Gwen’s voice broke through all the noise, impossibly hushed amongst the sound of the crowd outside of Radio City Music Hall. Rey lifted her eyes to meet her urgent gaze, giving her a small nod with a deep breath before following her through the doors of the legendary theatre. 

Rey was barely allowed a glance at the building majestic grand foyer with its grand staircase and rich, warm terrazzo floors and marble walls. Two glittering, cylindrical chandeliers hung low from the towering ceiling, bringing her eyes to a large mural that curved on the wall with the stairs to the mezzanine. 

Ushered through an ornate set of double doors, the auditorium was buzzing with energy and the blend of nearly six thousand voices that filled every seat. Rey had never been in the hall before and instantly lost her breath at the spectacular grandeur of it all. The main focus was brought immediately to the stage that was framed by a vast, semi-circular arch that seemed to grow outwards into the entire theater. 

With the skirt of her dress in hand, Rey followed Phasma down the seemingly endless rows of seats down towards the Orchestra until, with a soft gasp, she spotted the empty chair...right in front of a square set of shoulders and dark hair that she knew by heart. 

She swallowed the lump in her throat, silently telling herself not to look back while she slowly sat in the velvet chair and wholeheartedly accepted the hand of Rose, who had been waiting in the seat beside her.

A girlish squeal erupted from her friend and the theater burst into thunderous applause as the lights above them began to dim.

A series of musical performances and presenters flew by, one after the other, and all the while, Rey wrung her hands, anxiously counting the seconds instead of enjoying the show along with everyone else around her. 

The announcer came on overheard and summoned a solitary spotlight on the stage with a swell of the orchestra. With a part of the glittering curtain, the familiar face of Leia Organa strode out towards the microphone with a golden envelope in her hand. 

“I am thrilled to be here tonight to present this very exciting award. This has been an extraordinary year for women on Broadway, and each of these actresses delivered powerhouse, tour de force performances,” Rey sucked in a slow, deep breath when she swore that Leia looked directly at her and suddenly, her ears began to buzz as Leia read off the list of nominees. 

Rey watched her as the Broadway legend’s mouth moved and, with a smile, cracked open the envelope and read a name into the microphone.

The people around her burst into a fit of wildly enthusiastic applause. Rey blinked slowly as the sound came back to her and she found herself being pushed to her feet by an ecstatic Rose beside her. 

Rey pulled herself up from her chair onto quaking legs, hardly believing that it was her...until a warm hand curled around her wrist and a pair of plush lips brushed against her ear.

“I’m so fucking proud of you, Starlight. Now get up there to accept your award. Make the speech a good one, ‘cause you’ll remember it forever.”

She let out a nervous sigh and stepped down the aisle, her fingers shaking as she gathered up her skirt and began the small, but daunting staircase. Her heart beat frantically in her chest as she strode towards the center of the stage towards Leia, bending down as she reached for her and placed the Tony in her trembling hands with a quick murmur in her ear,  
“Now’s your chance, Sweetheart. Make it count and say what you’ve got to say.”

Rey’s hazel eyes were wide as the older woman pulled away, giving her the quickest wink as she stepped away towards stage left, leaving only Rey and the microphone.

She stepped up closer and looked down at the statuette in her hands, running her thumb slowly over the gleaming disc at the top. There was so much she needed to say now that she held this momentous thing in her hands...and this was the moment. All she had to do was speak. 

“Wow…” Rey breathed, her eyes locked on the weighty award in her hands, “This is...this is a big night. The biggest. And...I know that I should be looking at the balled of piece of paper I have stuffed in the bottom of my bag, but I’ve left it in my seat, so I suppose I’ll just have to wing it.”

She let out a nervous flutter of laughter that was met by a chorus from the audience members, and Rey swore that his stood out from all the rest. Musical in an impossible way, Ben’s laugh was a rare treat that was reserved for only the best people in his life...but especially for her, “I know I should be thanking my producers...the cast...my voice teacher…I’d thank parents, but I haven’t got any,” Rey lifted her eyes out against the blinding spotlight and instantly found his glittering gaze and the signature, lopsided smile on full display, “I am more grateful for this award than you could possibly imagine...but….it’s not complete, not even close. None of it matters because you’re out there...and I’m here. Shit...fuck, I’m sorry, I know I’m not supposed to swear...where is a good screenwriter when you need one? I could...I should follow their lead. Make some claim about how I am just a girl, standing in front of a boy...asking for him to love her. Gods, I am mucking this up, aren’t I? The thing is...none of this matters without you. None of it. Without you - all of this means nothing. I miss you. _I love you._ You complete me.”

Rey let out a soft gasp when Ben slowly stood up from his seat and began to stride purposefully down the aisle, climbing the stairs while she continued to babble.

“There are a million, tiny little things that...if I added them all up, they would say that we are meant to be together. I know it. I knew it from the first moment you touched me...like I was coming home, like nothing I have ever known before...like magic,” Rey kept her eyes trained on him as his burned into her, reaching to unbutton his jacket and he slowly climbed the stairs, getting closer with each passing second, “I know this is crazy, but...I love you. I’ve known it all along, and I’m sorry I fucked it up...I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up, I just got stuck…”

Rey was barely allowed a moment to think because, suddenly, Ben was there. With a scorching fire burning in his honeyed bourbon eyes, he wrapped his arms around her and brought his lips crashing down to hers for all the world to see. His mouth moved against hers, and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, unyielding and fierce, everything that they wanted to say, and nothing at the same time. 

His hand curled up beneath the knot at the base of her neck and held her fast against his plush lips with a swirl of his thumb against her cheek. A breathless whimper tumbled past Rey’s lips as Ben’s tongue ran over the seam of her lips, parting them beneath his expert touch. Her arms reached up and twined around his broad shoulders as her body arched up into his broad chest for a moment before they both breathlessly pulled away. 

Ben grinned sheepishly down at her, leaning down to press his forehead against hers as the entire theater erupted into a wild chorus of cheers and applause. 

“I’m sorry for interrupting, but I just had to get you to stop talking,” he growled with a chuckle, taking her hand in his to press a kiss into her palm.

“...you needed to shut me up?” Rey beamed as they strode off stage, hand in hand.

“Well, yeah,” Ben pulled her to a stop once they were out of view of the stage, and the show continued on without them. He snaked his thick arms around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest with a quick tug, leaning down slowly to bring his lips to hers again and again, “You had me at ‘I’m certainly glad to see you again.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. I finally did it. I FINISHED A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. 
> 
> Thank you so much for coming on this fun and fantastical ride with these two knuckleheads.
> 
> In my mind..._GATSBY!_ swept the Tonys. Ben and Rey finally sit down and have the chat they should have had in chapter five. They clear the slate and start over, just them...and not a secret. Ben embraces his heritage (and his gift) and he and Rey are both cast as star-crossed lovers in a sweeping space opera, igniting an entire fandom and millions of brilliant pieces of fanfiction.  
After traveling the world (and the galaxy) together, Ben and Rey go back to Vermont for a redo...with a diamond and a covered bridge.
> 
> Stay tuned for an epilogue.


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